As a teen I abused alcohol. Now I’m wondering how I can talk to my teens about the dangers of drinking. What do I say if they ask me if I ever tried drinking?

Be honest and say, "Do as I do now, not as I did then." As you’ve discovered, that’s an uncomfortable spot for a parent. Your dilemma is one of the challenges now facing many Baby Boomer parents (those born between 1946 and 1964). In a survey of parents with teens, eight out of 10 said, "Parents should forbid their kids to use drugs at any time." Not surprising. Yet a large percentage of those same parents admitted to abusing drugs when they were teens.

Parents with an imperfect past (that’s all of us) can still model a healthy lifestyle today. And you can draw on your past mistakes to teach your teens positive lessons. Though it’s best to be "wise about what is good and innocent about what is evil" (Romans 16:19), our past blunders can be turned into lessons on what not to do and will hopefully help our children avoid the lapses in good judgment we experienced.

You’re not the only parent struggling with this problem. Some sins may seem bigger to us because of their consequences, but we all miss the mark (Romans 3:23).

Consider Moses. God chose him to deliver the Ten Commandments, yet he had already broken at least one of the 10. It was common knowledge among the Israelites that the reason Moses fled Egypt was because he had killed an Egyptian, a violation of the sixth commandment (Exodus 20:13). God chose and used a known lawbreaker to deliver his laws to the people of Israel. Even though you made mistakes earlier in life, you should not be timid about instructing your children to stay away from drugs. The old saying, "Two wrongs don’t make a right" applies here. You were wrong to abuse drugs as a teen and now it would be wrong for you as a parent not to warn your teens about the dangers of drug and alcohol abuse.

Before Paul’s conversion to Christianity he was a leader among those who were persecuting Jesus’ followers. In Acts 9 Paul was on his way to arrest and imprison Christians when he was confronted by Jesus. After becoming a believer Paul did an about face. If you follow the life of Paul after his conversion you’ll discover that the apostles were hesitant at first to accept him. They were skeptical about his conversion and even wondered if it was a scheme to infiltrate their group and arrest them. Although Paul’s words were in doubt at first, he went on to become one of the most effective missionaries of all time. Be aware that your words may at first be received with some skepticism. As long as your life now matches your message, like Paul, you’ll be a reliable source.

Phil became a Christian at the age of 21. Unlike Bev, who committed her life to Jesus at 12, Phil needed to make a wider turn. Although our children aren’t privy to all the embarrassing details, they do know that their dad made some bad choices before becoming a Christian (B.C.) that he regrets and has learned from. If you were not a Christian when you abused drugs this can provide an opportunity for you to draw a clear distinction between your life before and after Jesus. When drawing such a line you shouldn’t feel compelled to add color. Keep your story simple and spend more time on the after Jesus side of the story than the before.

We believe it’s best to acknowledge our past failures. Besides, your kids already know you’re not perfect. Emphasize the negative consequences and the personal cost to you. Include God’s point of view. A solid Scripture reference that relates to drinking is found in Ephesians 5:18. "Don’t destroy yourself by getting drunk, but let the Spirit fill your life" (Contemporary English Version). Your bad experience can attest to the truth of that verse. By sharing your past with your children they will have an opportunity to learn positive lessons from your negative experiences.

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