Preachers don’t rob banks. Elders don’t embezzle funds from the church treasury. Sunday school teachers don’t deliberately misguide their charges. We are good folk who are trying to live by the will of God as we understand it. We attend assemblies most every time the doors are open. We give freely to the church and other worthy causes. We sing from our hearts and pray often. We are saints of God just a heartbeat from stepping into a room full of angels.

Then why do we often feel so guilty? Perhaps some of us bear the burdens of past sins and have been unable to forgive ourselves. There is such a thing as faith deficit. “Lord, help my unbelief.” Many of us feel unworthy of the grace of God because we know we can’t do enough good things to put him in our debt.

Since disciples of Jesus don’t pillage and plunder, why do so many struggle day to day and miss the peace that passes all understanding? How is it that the mercy of God is worn as a thorny crown rather than as the hope of glory? Could it be we are often captivated by evil thoughts and deeds that lurk hidden away from view?

Pornography has invaded our homes. Once upon a time you had to go to some public place and purchase it. That alone gave us pause. Did we really want to be seen in a sleazy store buying that magazine? It was too risky. One new convert came to me and said her faith was shaken because she had sold a men’s magazine to one of the church leaders. He had not recognized her. I felt as badly for my tempted brother as I did for her.

Internet porn attacks us in spite of ourselves. Filters on our computers can help, but still we are confronted with invitations to click the cursor and step into carnal paradise. In the privacy of our own homes there may be little accountability. Is pornography the “other woman” in the lives of many couples? This may seem less reprehensible than other sins because others aren’t aware of it. But God is aware.

Scripture reminds us we are what we think about. Some of us harbor sins of the heart inside and fail to sense their presence. Grudge holding is a nemesis for some. We can’t let go of what was said or done to us. We hold onto the pain and it affects how we deal with others. Rather than forgiving others as we wish to be forgiven, we grip tightly to the slights and hurts of the past. Nobody knows this but God and us.

The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life are the categories under which all sin can be listed (see 1 John 2:16). Every one of these ways to be tempted can be done in our minds without any overt action taken. Pride is a horrible sin. How does a child molester compare to the arrogant Christian who thinks of himself more highly than he ought? How many people who attend addiction recovery programs ever say out loud, “Hello. My name is Fred and I am a pride addict”? “My name is Freda and I’m addicted to hypocrisy”?

Joshua gives us an account of a man who thought his sin was hidden. Achan took a part of the spoil of Jericho against God’s will. Because of this one man’s greedy sin Israel was defeated at Ai. His sin was a capital offense. He and his family were stoned to death.

How many today have hidden booty stashed away unseen by anyone but God? Can you imagine the size of the rock pile outside most cities if we punished as Israel once did?

She was a very good church secretary. Not only was she friendly and courteous, she taught Sunday school. For five years she had been taking money from the church offering. It amounted to hundreds of thousands of dollars. The church was shocked and the sister was embarrassed when discovered. Yet before we judge too severely, how many of us have been tempted to tweak our tax return in our favor? Tax evasion seems to fall short of the spirit of rendering unto Caesar what is rightfully his.

I’m thankful I’m unaware of others’ private sins. My own thoughts are enough to make me blush. Truth is often stranger than fiction. I have been told that one of the worst things to befall Christendom is for a preacher to get his hands on a printing press. A man with a private agenda and the means to get it published can pose a threat to the unity of the Spirit.

One preacher was printing $20 bills in the church basement on the church’s printing press. He had done it for several years before being discovered. Another high profile leader in Christian education was discovered having same-sex relationships with his students over a period of decades. Who would have known? Only God knows how far we can stray from his heart’s desire for us.

Many of us in ministry have been exposed to confessions that seem impossible to comprehend. One elder in a church who was a leader in Christian education was exposed by his own daughters for molesting them during their teen years. We don’t want to know this. It fractures our sensibilities. Such information upsets our image of what discipleship must be. How can godly people be so ungodly?

Stealing cars and getting caught is obvious. Hating someone isn’t so apparent, but our Lord tells us it’s like murder. Adultery is condemned by God and when exposed is an embarrassment to all involved. But lusting in one’s heart for another man’s wife is committing adultery in secret. Coveting is a secret sin. Greed is a secret sin. Planning revenge on someone who has done us wrong can’t be any less a sin than snatching a purse from an elderly woman.

I am embarrassed for all the private sins in my own heart. Who am I to call attention to such matters? My only credential is that I am a sinner saved by the grace of God through Christ’s finished work on the cross. The Lord is aware of my past secret sins. And he will be aware of any that slip into my mind and heart in the future.

How do we avoid the temptation to think thoughts and engage in behavior that feels innocuous because it is done in private? We deal with secret sin the same way we deal with other types of addictions. We resist. We rebuke the one who would relish our having such thoughts. Jesus knows how easily we are tempted. He was tempted in all points and in every way (flesh, eyes, pride). There is always a way out. Temptation is not the problem. Temptation is not a sin. It is the embracing of evil that taints us. When temptation is conceived it gives birth to self-destructive behavior.

The way out is the way up. When tempted I often say out loud, “Get behind me, Satan.” If you were in a burning building and saw an exit sign, where would you go? There is always an exit option when we are tempted. Secret sins are most troublesome. Anonymity offers a false sense of protection. We feel entitled to think about and dwell on iniquity. But it’s another lie of the devil. It is a false sense of security.

By the way, I find it almost impossible to sin while praying to God. Try it. When tempted by the evil one, pray. Sing. Read Scripture. But by all means, pray. “Deliver us from the evil of secret sins, Father.” |L