There are times when I yearn to experience God. In fact some days my soul literally cries out for his presence. I long to be intimate with him. During such times I find myself staring off into the distance, disconnecting from the tangible and searching for my Father’s presence. Like the psalmist, my soul cries out, “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God” (Psalm 42:1).

However, I must admit that such moments are short lived. Too often something happens that snaps me back to reality, demanding my time and attention or reminding me that I’m neglecting a particular responsibility. My yearning for God fades to a dull ache, a sad emptiness that invades my being and follows me around like a haunting memory. My logical mind reminds me that fulfillment of duty is a noble part of my relationship with God. But my soul is downcast, as if I can feel what God himself feels because other things have taken precedence.

But does my relationship with God have to be limited? Is it possible to experience him on a day by day, even moment by moment basis? The Bible says, “Honor and majesty are [found] in His presence; strength and joy are [found] in His sanctuary” (1 Chronicles 16:27, The Amplified Bible).

Throughout the ages, many memorable books have been written to deepen our walk with God. Timeless works such as Brother Lawrence’s The Practice of the Presence of God and modern day classics like Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller and Susan Hill’s Closer Than Your Skin have helped me experience God in profound yet simple ways in everyday life. What do these authors offer? How have their writings affected my relationship with God?

Susan Hill writes,

God is actually offering himself? I had never thought of God reaching out to me in this way. I know God is not limited by church walls or to programs that benefit the less fortunate. But I’ve always thought I was the one who offered myself to him. And I’ve done so through service and study, prayer and giving. So how has God offered himself to me? I knew God had offered his Son, his Word, and his Spirit. Yet something was still missing. It wasn’t until I looked closely at the word knew in the book of Genesis that I realized what Susan meant.

The verb knew is derived from a word that means “to perceive and see, find out and discern; to know by experience; [to] be skilful in; to have knowledge, be wise; to make oneself known.” It is found 169 times throughout the Bible, most often in context with understanding or knowledge of a circumstance or situation. But it is also a Jewish idiom for sexual intercourse between a man and a woman. For instance, Genesis 4:1 says, “Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived, and bore Cain, saying, I have gotten a man with the help of the lord” (English Standard Version).

As I pondered this verse, I realized God had a parallel reason for using knew as a sexual term. In my relationship and experiences with him, he wants to impart knowledge and understanding of himself into my soul. Even as Adam knew Eve, I am part of the Bride of Christ and God wants me to “know” him intimately. He is offering himself to me! He desires to be entwined with my everyday life, sharing experiences as he imparts his wisdom, understanding, and nature to me.

Further, I found that Paul uses this same terminology when he says, “I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death” (Philippians 3:10, New International Version).

In Hill’s words, “So many of us have lived in that unspoken longing to know him. When we choose to embrace him, to invite him into our everyday lives, we find that God is already there, right beside us, and closer than our skin.”

I am now learning to accept God’s offer of himself and am finding new and fresh experiences with him each time I do.

In writing about his journey with God, Donald Miller says,

Miller’s words have profoundly impacted me. My Sunday school classes were also focused on Bible memorization as well as prayer, giving, and other things that made me a “good” Christian. As I’ve grown older, these still define my relationship with God. When I’m doing good works I think God is pleased with me and I feel closer to him. I also feel good about myself. But to be honest, I’m often too busy doing instead of listening. I’m not listening for what God is offering—himself. God wants my daily life to be a sanctuary; I can “know” his presence at any moment because I’m listening for his voice.

I am now learning to listen to and for God daily. I want to know him as he already knows me.

My prayers can sometimes be bathed in piety, as if I’m somehow drawn deeper into God’s presence through my dutiful words. But after reading about Brother Lawrence, I think God often chuckles at me. For instance, when I sin, I tell God how sorry I am, how bad I feel, or how deeply I regret my actions. I flog myself emotionally, then perform a penitent act to atone for my wrongdoing.

However, Brother Lawrence’s relationship with God has shown me that such self-abasement isn’t necessary. In the abridged edition of The Practice of the Presence of God, the publisher writes: “When he [brother Lawrence] sinned, he confessed it to God with these words: ‘I can do nothing better without You. Please keep me from falling and correct the mistakes I make.’ After that, he did not feel guilty about the sin.” Mistakes? Not feel guilty? How can he be so glib about sin? I wondered. Throughout the book, words such as frank, simple, and honest are used to describe Brother Lawrence’s relationship and experiences with God. Should I be any different, I thought to myself?

Brother Lawrence observed that “a sharp distinction should be drawn between acts of the intellect and those of the will. The former are of little importance, while the latter mean everything. All we really have to do is love God and rejoice in him.” These words have helped me to have a different mindset toward God. I am realizing that I don’t have to do anything just for the sake of doing it (my intellect). I don’t have to spend time with God; I don’t have to be a “good” Christian. Instead, I want do what God asks of me (my will) and spend time with him so that we increasingly “know” each other.

As I continue my Christian journey, I am learning to keep my words candid and uncomplicated with God. I am learning to live life with him by giving him my will and listening to him. I am learning not to focus on offering myself to him, but on his offering of himself to me. By concentrating on these, I am experiencing God in ways I never thought possible. And I’m also fulfilling my greatest desire. |L