Loneliness is no respecter of persons. Even Jesus experienced it on the cross when he questioned his Father as to why he had forsaken him. Jesus knows how we feel—and just what each of us needs to overcome the loneliness that burns within.

Recently I went through a period of about six weeks of intense loneliness. Surrounded by people, I nevertheless felt alone, misunderstood, confused, and depressed.

When we are lonely it may seem as though nobody cares or even notices we’re alive. We feel invisible—the proverbial wallflower that’s never asked to dance.

Loneliness has many faces and many sources: a lack of meaningful relationships, the feeling that you’re not part of the in crowd, low self-esteem, life changes, or even a conscious decision to separate yourself from others because of emotional wounds or fears.

It isn’t wrong to feel lonely, just as it is not wrong to feel tired when we need sleep or hungry when we don’t have food. Scripture implies that loneliness was a part of Adam’s experience before the fall, so it can’t be all bad.

I used to tell myself I shouldn’t feel lonely. After all, if the Lord is my shepherd, don’t I have everything I need? But we were created for relationship. Without close, healthy relationships we’re bound to experience loneliness, which is one reason God created a partner for Adam.

Loneliness can be a stark reminder that we are not complete without God and other people. Christians should value our need for relational connection because God has said, “It is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18).

Unfortunately, loneliness has a tendency to cause us to separate ourselves from the people who can help us. God often places people near us when we need them most. God will help us conquer loneliness, but we must allow him to do it as he chooses.

It may help to talk with others about our loneliness—friends, family, mentors, a minister—and ask for their prayers and support. We can also ask God to show us what this time of loneliness can teach us. God can turn our seasons of loneliness into opportunities to learn, grow, and mature.

No matter how lonely we may feel, there has never been a day when we have not been loved. When we ignore God, he still loves us. When we hide from him, he still loves us. When we deny, doubt, or disobey him, he still loves us.

In the midst of our loneliness, we may be hard-pressed to sense God’s presence at all. At times God’s presence is like the sun—bright, warm, and unmistakable. Other times we may find it hard to believe he’s there at all. But if someone asked if we believe the sun is still present even when we can’t see it or feel its warmth, we would respond, “Of course.” How much more we can believe God is with us, even when we can’t see or feel him!

The time will come again, however, when God’s presence is as unmistakable as the blazing, early morning sun. And no matter the extent of our loneliness, the sun will rise again and God will be with us.

Someone once said the silence we hear doesn’t confirm God’s distance. Instead, it proves his nearness. The Bible confirms as much. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).

When loneliness threatens to overcome us, we must remember the truth of God’s character and his Word. We may feel forsaken by all others, but God says he’ll never forsake us (Hebrews 13:5).

Society’s answers to loneliness will never truly be satisfying. We may dial up, hook up, and log on, but we don’t really connect. And so we seek other ways to fill the emptiness inside—TV, sports, pornography, alcohol, or drugs. We attempt to numb the pain of loneliness, but it doesn’t work. Only God’s ways will help us overcome.

The following suggestions may help us conquer loneliness. While this is not an exhaustive list, it provides a good start for overcoming loneliness.

When loneliness is all encompassing, we have a choice. We can embrace the world’s solutions or we can entrust ourselves to God and embrace his solutions. God’s path is the only way to conquer loneliness.

The best thing we can do in the midst of our loneliness is to take our eyes off ourselves and place them on Jesus. If we allow him, he will use the pain of loneliness to move us into a deeper relationship with him. |L