The radiant smile Ashley flashes and her effervescent personality are masks she dons each day when she leaves her apartment. She feels as if an empty hole rests where her heart once resided. The reason? She believes no one cares about her—that if she were suddenly hospitalized there would be no cards, flowers, or visitors. Ashley’s radiant smile and effervescent personality are coping techniques for dealing with the loneliness that shrouds her life. Ashley is a silent sufferer who lacks the biblical resources to be a victor rather than a victim when attacked by the loneliness epidemic.

Half a century ago, Yale University Press published the first edition of The Lonely Crowd by David Riesman with Nathan Glazer and Reuel Denney. Though the contents of the book do not teach the reader how to deal with loneliness, its title is a reminder that loneliness is a common epidemic. It is not limited to the person who lives alone, who is confined to a nursing home and is rarely visited, or even the truck driver who spends much time on the road alone. Regrettably, the loneliness epidemic attacks the Christian community as frequently as secular society.

If we are honest, most of us long for the friendship of a kindred spirit eloquently described by Anne Shirley in the classic story of an orphan girl, Anne of Green Gables. Her longing is replicated in the hearts of people everywhere because, as Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 teaches, we all have a built-in need for companionship.

Numerous studies reinforce what Anne Shirley and Solomon, the author of Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10 taught centuries ago: “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” (English Standard Version).

Research conducted by the University of Chicago shows that loneliness undermines our health as well as our emotional mental well-being. The impact of loneliness is so detrimental that chronic loneliness has been placed among such health risk factors as smoking, obesity, and lack of exercise. The studies, reported in the book Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection (Norton, W.W. & Company, Inc, 2008), show that a sense of rejection or isolation disrupts not only abilities, willpower, and perseverance, but also key cellular processes deep within the human body.

The definition of loneliness varies. For me it is a painful awareness that I was excluded from a meaningful event. Like Ashley, when I experience loneliness I feel no one cares about me. When the loneliness epidemic strikes, even the things I enjoy seem pointless. When I reach out to share them with others, there is no one there to respond. If I choose to allow my thoughts to continue in a downward spiral I quickly lose my spiritual vitality.

When defining loneliness I must be careful not to confuse it with solitude. When I choose purposely to withdraw myself from others for a period of time I experience solitude. It is a time when I want or need to be alone. Jesus modeled the need for solitude in Matthew 14:23. Loneliness, on the other hand, is the painful experience of wanting to be with others but being excluded. It feels like a dull aching pain no doctor’s prescription can alleviate.

Often loneliness does not come because of the absence of people around us. Sometimes a large gathering can makes us feel very lonely. Loneliness is not dependent on the number of people near you but rather on your relationship to those people. You can feel lonely in a crowd or delivered from loneliness by one person.

Is there a cure for the loneliness epidemic Ashley contracted? Absolutely! Since Ashley is God’s child he promises to provide her with a permanent cure—and he is willing to do the same for all who are willing to follow his prescription.

Some people learn to enjoy the self-pity and pain that emanate from the loneliness epidemic and are unwilling to do anything to change their situation. But if you are interested in doing something about your loneliness, there are steps you can take to cure the epidemic. Consider taking this following prescription when the epidemic threatens to strike:

• Practice the truth of Proverbs 18:24 and become a bridge builder. Many people experience loneliness because they are waiting for someone to build a bridge to them. Invite, visit, call, or e-mail several people. Focus on building relationships with others rather than waiting for someone to build a bridge to you.

• Choose to become a blessing to others. Rather than drowning in self-pity, remember that as God’s child you were redeemed to glorify him. First Corinthians 10:31 reminds us that whatever we do, we are to do it to the glory of God. Consider how you can be a blessing to others. Pray about and investigate the possibility of becoming involved in meaningful community and church projects. Consider visiting those you know to be in more challenging circumstances than you are. Convalescent facilities, homes for the aged, and hospitals are always in need of individuals to share a word of cheer or offer a helping hand.

• Put into practice Hebrews 13:5 and focus on the truth that though human relationships may fail you, God promises never to leave or forsake you. Cultivate an ongoing, vital relationship with your heavenly Father. Then, when there is no one to encourage or affirm you, your relationship with your heavenly Father will prevent loneliness and depression from submerging you in self-pity.

• Remember that loneliness can be conquered. Numerous Scripture passages outline the treatment for replacing loneliness with spiritual vitality.

• Acknowledge that everyone experiences seasons of loneliness. Turn lonely moments into solitude retreats and savor the exclusive time with your heavenly Father.

• Maintain sound nutritional habits. Poor nutrition may prolong the loneliness epidemic.

• Be spiritually prepared. Similar to saving a percentage of each check for unforeseen expenses, build a spiritual reserve for times of loneliness. Internalizing God’s Word (Psalm 119:11) leads to spiritual vitality (Psalm 1:2). This process begins with spending time daily reading and thinking about the Scriptures, asking your heavenly Father how you should apply them to everyday life, purposing to be obedient through his strength, and joyfully responding to his instructions (Philippians 4:13).

• Seek to apply the truth of Jeremiah 17:7, 8. Acknowledge that the heat will come; the drought is certain; however, there is a supernatural source of vitality when one is spiritually prepared.

If you consistently follow this treatment you should possess a more finely-toned spiritual constitution that allows you to say, “I am a loneliness epidemic survivor and now possess spiritual VITALITY because I chose to:

• be a Victor rather than a victim (Romans 8:26-39).

• walk in Integrity (Psalm 15).

• Trust in the Lord (Proverbs 3:5, 6).

• Abide in Christ (John 15:1-11).

• Love the Lord with all my heart (Matthew 22:34-38).

• Incline my heart to my heavenly Father’s testimonies (Psalm 119:36).

• Thank my heavenly Father for the benefits of being his child (Psalm 103).

• Yield myself to the Lord (2 Chronicles 30:8).”

The choice is yours. Will you choose to silently suffer like Ashley or will you eagerly follow the treatment that allows you to be a victor rather than a victim when you are attacked by the loneliness epidemic? |L