Last month I laid a biblical foundation for the importance of modesty while recognizing that beauty is nothing to be ashamed of. This month we’ll answer several remaining questions.

I’m not sure why modesty seems an issue more for women than men, but maybe it’s about how God made us. Women link self-esteem with personal beauty. Men seem to be “wired” for visual attraction. If this is at least generally true, should women feel a special burden to be modest and guard their beauty? I would say yes—but men should not ignore the issue.

In the end I think God wants us to behave modestly and see physical beauty for what it is and what it’s not. I think he wants us to do this out of courtesy in acknowledging that human beings are sexual creatures, and I think he wants us to do this because internal beauty—beauty of the soul—is more important than outward appearance. We can’t help but value beauty because beauty in the world is a glimpse of the glory of God—a glory we shall someday see face to face. Beauty is wonderful and dangerous, so we should celebrate it and conserve it through appropriate modesty.

How do we dress modestly? We could easily say we shouldn’t care about external appearance at all, but we know that we do, and the Bible celebrates beauty while also speaking of simplicity of dress.

Let me begin with a general and honest principle: if women wore calf-length dresses, men would then stare at their ankles. The solution to modesty is not to force women to wear burkas. Women may bear a responsibility to dress modestly, but men bear a responsibility to say no to the impulse to stare when they should not. If men are “wired for sight,” for enjoying the physical appearance of women, we should look at that first impulse to stare with some grace. But the second impulse—to keep staring rather than choosing to see a woman for more than what’s on the outside—that impulse is the responsibility of Christian men to overcome. To this end, men and women should do their best to help each other out.

For men I offer these tips: wear shirts, even when you’re working out; pull up your pants and keep them belted on your waist; wear clothes that are loose fitting (they don’t have to be baggy); avoid showing underwear. When I posed this question to a group of college age women, they added that male modesty should include gentlemanly behavior—not merely avoiding sexual innuendo and un-Christian flirting, but also behaving in civil and mannerly ways.

Modesty tips for women: There’s a difference between tight and form fitting. Tight is immodest, but you don’t have to wear a potato sack. The higher the neck line the better it is for guys. And the lower the hemline, the better. Dress lengths close to the knee are a courtesy. I am not stating biblical requirements here. I’m speaking as a man regarding what I think would be most helpful to men in terms of a woman’s modesty. Low waisted “hip huggers” are a problem, especially when kneeling down or bending over. Something as simple as wearing a tucked in shirt might help in this regard. As with men, not showing underwear is a modest thing for women. And for men and women both, I’d recommend that shorts cover half the thigh. A college student also suggested avoiding clothing printed with vulgar statements.

That leaves the problem of bathing suits. One of the reasons I argue that Christians should work in many different careers, even fashion, is what happens when Christians don’t work in those jobs. In this case, I suggest as delicately as possible that something has gone very wrong with our fashion sense in a world in which a “wax job” is required for the wearing of a bathing suit. Fortunately there are new suit cuts being offered even in mainstream fashion. Women who want greater modesty can find Web sites that specialize in modest swim wear.

I conclude by stating a point I’ve implied throughout this article: modesty is not about being ashamed and thinking that sex is “dirty.” It’s about courtesy, stewardship, and acknowledging the proper place of physical beauty in the world. |L

OTHER COLUMNS:
November 8, 2009 - Why I believe in God
October 25, 2009 - Commuting in days of evil
October 11, 2009 - Poets and don’t know it
September 27, 2009 - How Hollywood proves abortion is wrong
September 13, 2009 - Significance
August 30, 2009 - Dance alternatives
August 16, 2009 - Gluttons for gossip
August 2, 2009 - Truth from Twilight
July 19, 2009 - Visitor-friendly churches
July 5, 2009 - The Shack
June 21, 2009 - When forgiveness fails
June 7, 2009 - Re-imagining Education (Part Six)
May 24, 2009 - We are not alone
May 3, 2009 - Re-imagining education (part five)
April 26, 2009 - Conviction
April 12, 2009 - Re-imagining education (part four)
March 29, 2009 - An evangelistic proposal
March 15, 2009 - Re-imagining education (part three)
March 1, 2009 - He makes me sick
February 15, 2009 - Re-imagining education (Part Two)
February 1, 2009 - Spiritual insecurity
January 18, 2009 - Re-imagining education (part one)
January 4, 2009 - Church and politics
December 21, 2008 - Heaven’s music
December 7, 2008 - The church and marriage
November 23, 2008 - God and the president
November 9, 2008 - A time for courage
October 26, 2008 - Likes and dislikes: the Prince Caspian movie
October 12, 2008 - What’s that noise?
September 14, 2008 - All it takes is some TLC
August 31, 2008 - Modesty matters (part one)
August 17, 2008 - What would you fight for?
August 3, 2008 - Staying through the credits
July 20, 2008 - Honor to whom honor
July 6, 2008 - Tyler Perry and the movies you’re missing
June 22, 2008 - The peaceable kingdom
May 25, 2008 - Another generation grew up
May 25, 2008 - Technology and the Bible (part two)
May 11, 2008 - Technology and the Bible (part one)
April 27, 2008 - What is truth?
April 13, 2008 - And the geek shall inherit the earth
March 30, 2008 - A charactered God
March 16, 2008 - The college choice (part two)
March 2, 2008 - Good news can be hard to hear
February 17, 2008 - The college choice (part one)
February 5, 2008 - Ten suggestions for a godly standard of living
January 20, 2008 - Expelled: that “Bueller” guy’s pro-God movie
January 6, 2008 - Choosing a lifestyle
December 23, 2007 - Teachable TV?
December 9, 2007 - Owners or stewards?
November 25, 2007 - Christians teaching Christians to change TV and film
November 11, 2007 - My money is God’s business
October 28, 2007 - Navigating under the radar
October 14, 2007 - The things God values
September 30, 2007 - Movie moments
September 16, 2007 - God’s economics
September 2, 2007 - The best books to read
August 19, 2007 - There’s a rat in ‘separate’
August 5, 2007 - The art of reading
July 22, 2007 - Atheist chic
July 8, 2007 - Why books matter: the sequel
June 10, 2007 - Books: why they matter
June 3, 2007 - The non-impact of “The Lost Tomb of Jesus”
May 27, 2007 - The universal gospel
May 13, 2007 - Loving Muslims through culture
April 29, 2007 - Hope
April 15, 2007 - God in the dark
April 1, 2007 - The gospel goes to the movies
March 18, 2007 - What the Bible movies can teach us
March 4, 2007 - What will you hurt for?
February 18, 2007 - Why Heroes . . .
February 4, 2007 - Give peace a chance
January 21, 2007 - When fairy tales are true
January 7, 2007 - WYSIWYG lives
December 31, 2006 - What’s coming next?
December 17, 2006 - Mercy, mercy
December 3, 2006 - Proof of evolution!
November 19, 2006 - Hungering for God
November 5, 2006 - Violence and government, war and peace
October 22, 2006 - The mighty meek
October 8, 2006 - The Battlestar and the Bible
September 24, 2006 - Soap for the soul
September 10, 2006 - Right vs. cool
August 27, 2006 - The painful truth
August 13, 2006 - More Lies Hollywood Tells
July 30, 2006 - Christian counter culture
July 16, 2006 - The lies Hollywood tells