I’ve been consulting with numerous churches lately. Whatever other issues they may face, there is a paradox at the heart of these churches I find curious. Each of them is “growth challenged”—their numbers are headed in the wrong direction. And each of them has visitors every Sunday, people who walk into their worship services looking for a place to belong.

Now I’m no rocket scientist. But even I can see the possibilities involved here: If we could just get visitors to stay, our growth problems would be solved!

But they don’t stay. They come once and walk away forever. They sample and decide to go elsewhere. The churches I’m working with can’t figure out how to turn visitors into members.

And it’s not the usual suspects that are responsible for this. It’s not that the preaching is tedious or the worship uninspiring. It’s not that the assemblies are formal and cold or the fellowship tepid. These are good churches, loving, sincerely trying to do the right thing.

The common thread between them is a sin of omission rather than commission. They are “visitor oblivious.” They don’t see visitors as God’s weekly gift, given to their churches by the Father to be nourished and treasured. They do not understand what a kingdom opportunity they encounter with every visitor who walks in the front door. Members of these churches are intent on greeting each other, not visitors. They have come to church to reach up and reach in, not to reach out. They have classes to attend and Communion to prepare and meetings to plan. But visitors are not part of these activities. At most, they are a rest stop (“Hi, how are you?”) on the way to more important destinations.

If churches like these (or, for that matter, like yours) want to do better by visitors, a few simple things must change at a very basic level.

First, we have to remember what brings visitors to our churches. It’s holy stuff. The need to connect with God. The need to find a family of faith. A hunger for the spiritual. People don’t walk into an unfamiliar place, a place filled with strangers and all manner of unknowns, without strong motivation. You and I go to church because our friends are there and we know what to expect. But what brings a visitor to church? They did not stroll casually through our front door. God brought them to us. To ignore visitors, to ignore the reasons that motivate them, is to dishonor the work of the Spirit in these people. Recognizing and appreciating that is as critical to the business of the kingdom as the prayers we offer and the songs we sing.

Second, we need to remember what it’s like to be a visitor. By and large, we’ve forgotten. It’s been so long since we’ve played that part ourselves, we don’t recall the nervousness, the sense of uncertainty and discomfort, the anxiety about what’s going to happen. We’ve forgotten what it’s like to drop off our children with strangers, to sit through an assembly where everyone but us knows the rules and the routine. We no longer recall what it feels like to be a complete outsider, to know no one’s name or face, to feel that strange tension between wanting to belong and being oh-so-aware that you do not. What a kingdom opportunity! To serve these people with a simple greeting and a friendly face. To show kindness to a stranger. To put someone at ease. Hospitality is a core Christian virtue. Sometimes, being a Good Samaritan involves nothing more than turning to the stranger in the pew beside you and offering the oil of a caring word and the wine of your smile.

Third, we need to value visitors enough to change our habits. Get to church a few minutes early. Clear our plates of some of the “busyness” we pile into the Sunday morning hour. Make time for people who need our attention. Make a commitment to tear ourselves away from conversations with good friends so we can start a conversation with someone we don’t know. Develop a personal radar for those who are new and out of place. Stop making excuses about being shy and no good with strangers. Stop it for kingdom’s sake!

Everyone wants the church to grow and effectively reach the people around them. Everyone wants people brought to faith and introduced to relationship with Jesus. We plan extravagant outreach efforts and strategize about how to reach our communities. We spend huge amounts on missions budgets.

And we ignore the people God brings to us every week. Where is the sense in that? |L

OTHER COLUMNS:
November 8, 2009 - Why I believe in God
October 25, 2009 - Commuting in days of evil
October 11, 2009 - Poets and don’t know it
September 27, 2009 - How Hollywood proves abortion is wrong
September 13, 2009 - Significance
August 30, 2009 - Dance alternatives
August 16, 2009 - Gluttons for gossip
August 2, 2009 - Truth from Twilight
July 5, 2009 - The Shack
June 21, 2009 - When forgiveness fails
June 7, 2009 - Re-imagining Education (Part Six)
May 24, 2009 - We are not alone
May 3, 2009 - Re-imagining education (part five)
April 26, 2009 - Conviction
April 12, 2009 - Re-imagining education (part four)
March 29, 2009 - An evangelistic proposal
March 15, 2009 - Re-imagining education (part three)
March 1, 2009 - He makes me sick
February 15, 2009 - Re-imagining education (Part Two)
February 1, 2009 - Spiritual insecurity
January 18, 2009 - Re-imagining education (part one)
January 4, 2009 - Church and politics
December 21, 2008 - Heaven’s music
December 7, 2008 - The church and marriage
November 23, 2008 - God and the president
November 9, 2008 - A time for courage
October 26, 2008 - Likes and dislikes: the Prince Caspian movie
October 12, 2008 - What’s that noise?
September 28, 2008 - Modesty matters (part two)
September 14, 2008 - All it takes is some TLC
August 31, 2008 - Modesty matters (part one)
August 17, 2008 - What would you fight for?
August 3, 2008 - Staying through the credits
July 20, 2008 - Honor to whom honor
July 6, 2008 - Tyler Perry and the movies you’re missing
June 22, 2008 - The peaceable kingdom
May 25, 2008 - Another generation grew up
May 25, 2008 - Technology and the Bible (part two)
May 11, 2008 - Technology and the Bible (part one)
April 27, 2008 - What is truth?
April 13, 2008 - And the geek shall inherit the earth
March 30, 2008 - A charactered God
March 16, 2008 - The college choice (part two)
March 2, 2008 - Good news can be hard to hear
February 17, 2008 - The college choice (part one)
February 5, 2008 - Ten suggestions for a godly standard of living
January 20, 2008 - Expelled: that “Bueller” guy’s pro-God movie
January 6, 2008 - Choosing a lifestyle
December 23, 2007 - Teachable TV?
December 9, 2007 - Owners or stewards?
November 25, 2007 - Christians teaching Christians to change TV and film
November 11, 2007 - My money is God’s business
October 28, 2007 - Navigating under the radar
October 14, 2007 - The things God values
September 30, 2007 - Movie moments
September 16, 2007 - God’s economics
September 2, 2007 - The best books to read
August 19, 2007 - There’s a rat in ‘separate’
August 5, 2007 - The art of reading
July 22, 2007 - Atheist chic
July 8, 2007 - Why books matter: the sequel
June 10, 2007 - Books: why they matter
June 3, 2007 - The non-impact of “The Lost Tomb of Jesus”
May 27, 2007 - The universal gospel
May 13, 2007 - Loving Muslims through culture
April 29, 2007 - Hope
April 15, 2007 - God in the dark
April 1, 2007 - The gospel goes to the movies
March 18, 2007 - What the Bible movies can teach us
March 4, 2007 - What will you hurt for?
February 18, 2007 - Why Heroes . . .
February 4, 2007 - Give peace a chance
January 21, 2007 - When fairy tales are true
January 7, 2007 - WYSIWYG lives
December 31, 2006 - What’s coming next?
December 17, 2006 - Mercy, mercy
December 3, 2006 - Proof of evolution!
November 19, 2006 - Hungering for God
November 5, 2006 - Violence and government, war and peace
October 22, 2006 - The mighty meek
October 8, 2006 - The Battlestar and the Bible
September 24, 2006 - Soap for the soul
September 10, 2006 - Right vs. cool
August 27, 2006 - The painful truth
August 13, 2006 - More Lies Hollywood Tells
July 30, 2006 - Christian counter culture
July 16, 2006 - The lies Hollywood tells