A few years ago I wrote an essay for The Lookout (“Right vs. Cool”) where I talked about the importance of imagination in moral motivation. If we think something is right we will obey out of duty, fear, or guilt. But if we see something as “cool” we will copy it in our own lives with passion and enthusiasm. The absence of a motivating image or hero makes some moral truths hard to follow. Nowhere is this truer in our culture than with sexual morality. I recently saw a movie, however, that presented an image of hope.

Cultures throughout history have praised the chastity of women. With men it’s been less so, but virginity and celibacy outside of marriage have been the Christian ideal for centuries. In the image of the medieval knight, even male virginity was celebrated. In the various tales surrounding King Arthur, for example, only a few knights were able to find the Holy Grail. Lancelot was never able to find it because he was sexually impure. He was defeated in open battle by one knight who did find the grail: Galahad was the purest and most holy of all the knights, and he was celibate. In all the oldest tales of medieval knights, a man’s virginity—his ability to control himself sexually—was the sign of his manhood, prowess, and strength.

We couldn’t be further from this image today. Every picture of virgin men presented in our culture is one of weakness, desperation, and a lack of manhood. Today manliness means being sexually experienced and having a knack for conquering even reluctant women. I see it with young men on a Christian university campus: those who are virgins feel embarrassed. They shouldn’t feel this way, but all they’ve ever seen of sexuality is its association with manliness, and all they’ve ever seen of sexual purity is weakness. The church continues to stand for sexual purity but seems to have lost the ability to paint a picture of the power, wonder, and glory of celibacy, especially for men.

In talking about the issue of male virginity with my college students, I have tried to paint a picture—in classes, Sunday schools, or sermons. I ask if the guys in the audience are in love. Then I ask if they’d die for the woman they love. Would they protect her, keep others from harming her, stop the sexual advances of other men, even take a bullet to save her life? I tell them that if their answer is yes, then they need to start with themselves: they need to decide that no man will violate their beloved’s body, not even themselves. To protect a woman’s sexual purity from all attacks, including those spurred on by their own desires, is the most heroic act of love men can show women today. A few weeks ago I saw an image of heroism like this in the movie Twilight.

The Twilight series of books has been called the next Harry Potter in fantasy literature. It’s immensely popular, especially with young women. I think I know one reason why. I haven’t read the books (so I can’t recommend them), but I have seen the first film. In the movie a teenage girl, Bella, moves to a new town, starts high school, and quickly becomes attracted to a teenage boy—or so he seems. Edward initially appears repulsed by Bella—as if he wants to gag simply when he looks at her. But the opposite is true. Edward is, in fact, a very old vampire, part of a family of vampires who have purposely chosen to live among people and drink only animal blood. To Edward, Bella looks and smells utterly delicious—literally. He hungers for her both romantically and physically at the same time.

Several times in the movie, Edward saves Bella from harm, but his greatest act of heroism is to save her from himself. One night Bella wakes to find Edward watching over her. Hearts aflutter and bodies on fire, they kiss. The kissing becomes more passionate, and Bella encourages Edward to enter her bed. But with great effort he stops them both, saying he can’t lose control. If he were to have sex with her, his desire to feed on her would become all consuming, and he would kill her. He loves her too much to give in to his desires. Heroically, Edward rescues Bella from himself.

Every young man who gives in to his sinful desires to take his girlfriend’s body for his own pleasure outside of marriage is giving in to his dark, monstrous self and eating a little bit of her soul away, the most precious thing she has. Conversely, any man who protects a woman, body and soul, even from himself, is saving her from physical pain, guilt, depression, insecurity, and maybe even from Hell! It takes courage for a young man to remain celibate. It takes a hero. |L

OTHER COLUMNS:
November 8, 2009 - Why I believe in God
October 25, 2009 - Commuting in days of evil
October 11, 2009 - Poets and don’t know it
September 27, 2009 - How Hollywood proves abortion is wrong
September 13, 2009 - Significance
August 30, 2009 - Dance alternatives
August 16, 2009 - Gluttons for gossip
July 19, 2009 - Visitor-friendly churches
July 5, 2009 - The Shack
June 21, 2009 - When forgiveness fails
June 7, 2009 - Re-imagining Education (Part Six)
May 24, 2009 - We are not alone
May 3, 2009 - Re-imagining education (part five)
April 26, 2009 - Conviction
April 12, 2009 - Re-imagining education (part four)
March 29, 2009 - An evangelistic proposal
March 15, 2009 - Re-imagining education (part three)
March 1, 2009 - He makes me sick
February 15, 2009 - Re-imagining education (Part Two)
February 1, 2009 - Spiritual insecurity
January 18, 2009 - Re-imagining education (part one)
January 4, 2009 - Church and politics
December 21, 2008 - Heaven’s music
December 7, 2008 - The church and marriage
November 23, 2008 - God and the president
November 9, 2008 - A time for courage
October 26, 2008 - Likes and dislikes: the Prince Caspian movie
October 12, 2008 - What’s that noise?
September 28, 2008 - Modesty matters (part two)
September 14, 2008 - All it takes is some TLC
August 31, 2008 - Modesty matters (part one)
August 17, 2008 - What would you fight for?
August 3, 2008 - Staying through the credits
July 20, 2008 - Honor to whom honor
July 6, 2008 - Tyler Perry and the movies you’re missing
June 22, 2008 - The peaceable kingdom
May 25, 2008 - Another generation grew up
May 25, 2008 - Technology and the Bible (part two)
May 11, 2008 - Technology and the Bible (part one)
April 27, 2008 - What is truth?
April 13, 2008 - And the geek shall inherit the earth
March 30, 2008 - A charactered God
March 16, 2008 - The college choice (part two)
March 2, 2008 - Good news can be hard to hear
February 17, 2008 - The college choice (part one)
February 5, 2008 - Ten suggestions for a godly standard of living
January 20, 2008 - Expelled: that “Bueller” guy’s pro-God movie
January 6, 2008 - Choosing a lifestyle
December 23, 2007 - Teachable TV?
December 9, 2007 - Owners or stewards?
November 25, 2007 - Christians teaching Christians to change TV and film
November 11, 2007 - My money is God’s business
October 28, 2007 - Navigating under the radar
October 14, 2007 - The things God values
September 30, 2007 - Movie moments
September 16, 2007 - God’s economics
September 2, 2007 - The best books to read
August 19, 2007 - There’s a rat in ‘separate’
August 5, 2007 - The art of reading
July 22, 2007 - Atheist chic
July 8, 2007 - Why books matter: the sequel
June 10, 2007 - Books: why they matter
June 3, 2007 - The non-impact of “The Lost Tomb of Jesus”
May 27, 2007 - The universal gospel
May 13, 2007 - Loving Muslims through culture
April 29, 2007 - Hope
April 15, 2007 - God in the dark
April 1, 2007 - The gospel goes to the movies
March 18, 2007 - What the Bible movies can teach us
March 4, 2007 - What will you hurt for?
February 18, 2007 - Why Heroes . . .
February 4, 2007 - Give peace a chance
January 21, 2007 - When fairy tales are true
January 7, 2007 - WYSIWYG lives
December 31, 2006 - What’s coming next?
December 17, 2006 - Mercy, mercy
December 3, 2006 - Proof of evolution!
November 19, 2006 - Hungering for God
November 5, 2006 - Violence and government, war and peace
October 22, 2006 - The mighty meek
October 8, 2006 - The Battlestar and the Bible
September 24, 2006 - Soap for the soul
September 10, 2006 - Right vs. cool
August 27, 2006 - The painful truth
August 13, 2006 - More Lies Hollywood Tells
July 30, 2006 - Christian counter culture
July 16, 2006 - The lies Hollywood tells