E-mailer 1: “Please remember our minister in prayer. He and his wife are going on a much-needed vacation this week.”

E-mailer 2: “Our minister needs prayer. He and his wife are going away for a while.”

E-mailer 3: “Pray for our minister and his wife. Not sure what’s wrong with their marriage, but I heard that we’re not going to be seeing them at church for a long time.”

Worker 1 at the Water Cooler: “The company’s budget is tight and the boss is talking about freezing new hires and cutting office expenses by 10 percent.”

Worker 2 at the Water Cooler: “The company is losing so much money that the boss is freezing our wages and cutting our staff by 10 percent.”

Worker 3 at the Water Cooler: “Can you believe it? The company is on the verge of closing, but the boss’s salary went up by 10 percent. He’s even been complaining about how it’s freezing in his office.”

Neighbor 1: “The Jones family just moved into the neighborhood. They’re rehabilitating that old house over on Elm Street. Mr. Jones retired after 30 years with Procter and Gamble.”

Neighbor 2: “Did you hear about the Jones family over on Elm Street? Mr. Jones worked for Procter and Gamble. They’re rehabbing an old house. I heard it may take them 30 years.”

Neighbor 3: “That new family over on Elm Street must be having some problems. I heard that Mr. Jones is going to be in rehab for 30 days. Something to do with a gambling problem.”

News Reporter 1: “Students at Thomas Jefferson Middle School have been receiving help from an unexpected source. Members of First Christian Church adopted the school, and they have been showing up every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon to tutor students who need extra help with their homework. These faithful volunteers also bring snacks and words of encouragement for the school’s teachers—along with a promise to pray for them. ‘It’s been a great partnership,’ said school principal Mary Smith. ‘This positive relationship between the school and a local church could be a model for other communities to follow.’”

News Reporter 2: “Local residents are expressing concern about a church’s interference at Thomas Jefferson Middle School. Members of First Christian Church have been showing up twice a week and talking with students on school property. ‘It’s a real threat,’ said worried parent Jane Johnson. ‘These volunteers mean well, but we don’t want them pushing their religion onto our kids.’”

News Reporter 3: “Controversy is brewing at Thomas Jefferson Middle School. The trouble began when members of what some describe as a right-wing evangelical group began seeking to interject prayer into the public school. ‘These religious zealots are crossing the line that separates church and state,’ said political activist Ann Martin, president of the National Organization for Going in the Opposite Direction (NOGOD). ‘For this to happen at a school that bears his name, Thomas Jefferson must be turning over in his grave!’”

Alumnus 1: “We can be proud of our Christian college. In a day when many teach that morals are relative, the professors are standing firm for God’s truth and guiding students in their relationship with the Lord.”

Alumnus 2: “Did you hear about our college? The professors are teaching that morals are relative and focusing on ‘relationships’ instead of God’s truth.”

Alumnus 3: “I heard that the professors are immoral, and so are their relatives.”

“The speech of a good person clears the air; the words of the wicked pollute it” (Proverbs 10:32, The Message). |L

OTHER COLUMNS:
November 15, 2009 - How do we see the cities?
November 8, 2009 - Mind your posture
October 25, 2009 - Why they go
October 18, 2009 - Shifting gears
October 11, 2009 - Preparing for D Day
October 4, 2009 - What about when the giants win?
September 27, 2009 - Little losses
September 20, 2009 - Who will attend your funeral?
September 13, 2009 - Loving our ‘children’s children’
September 6, 2009 - John the job coach
August 30, 2009 - An open letter to a closed heart
August 23, 2009 - Trying to be tall
August 16, 2009 - Are you serious?
August 9, 2009 - The benefits (and limits) of education
August 2, 2009 - Behind the snail bus
July 26, 2009 - The official scorer
July 19, 2009 - Pleasant dreams
July 12, 2009 - Watchmen on the wall
July 5, 2009 - Standing at the crossroads
June 28, 2009 - Come on down
June 21, 2009 - A godly father
June 14, 2009 - Greater things
June 7, 2009 - How can I count the ways?
May 31, 2009 - Avoiding Chapter 11
May 24, 2009 - Some things I remember
May 17, 2009 - In bad shape
May 10, 2009 - What did your mother teach you?
May 3, 2009 - Buy in
April 26, 2009 - Seven years to build it
April 19, 2009 - The flock on your block
April 12, 2009 - Untold stories
April 5, 2009 - The path strewn with palm branches
March 29, 2009 - Jesus’ small group
March 22, 2009 - One very fine meal
March 15, 2009 - How big is big enough?
March 8, 2009 - Stewing over stewardship
March 1, 2009 - Removing trust rust
February 22, 2009 - Part of God’s answer
February 15, 2009 - Putting the coin in the koinonia
February 8, 2009 - I still do
February 1, 2009 - Forward progress
January 25, 2009 - His name is . . . controversial?
January 18, 2009 - Matt
January 11, 2009 - The other 90 percent
January 4, 2009 - Growing by leaps and boundaries
December 28, 2008 - Too late for the late Mr. Lazarus?
December 21, 2008 - Christmas bows
December 14, 2008 - Good gifts for tough times
December 7, 2008 - Synoptic parents
November 30, 2008 - Fully engaged
November 23, 2008 - Abundant praise
November 16, 2008 - The cool of the day
November 9, 2008 - Faith, not fear
November 2, 2008 - Going through Samaria
October 26, 2008 - Redefining success
October 12, 2008 - Here am I
October 5, 2008 - Present—and accounted for
September 28, 2008 - The beauty of baptism
September 21, 2008 - Theme songs
September 14, 2008 - Stress these things
September 7, 2008 - The older I get
August 31, 2008 - Are you ubiquitous?
August 24, 2008 - The Bible in pictures
August 17, 2008 - Watch pocket syndrome
August 10, 2008 - Seriously, we need to laugh
August 3, 2008 - Real parents
July 27, 2008 - Holes in our pockets
July 20, 2008 - Crushed
July 13, 2008 - Unloved
July 6, 2008 - Blackberry cobbler
June 29, 2008 - The strength you have
June 22, 2008 - How long does a sermon need to be?
June 8, 2008 - Someone else’s mess
June 1, 2008 - Afterward
May 25, 2008 - Diving for pearls
May 18, 2008 - There’d better be a Heaven
May 11, 2008 - Moses’ mom
May 4, 2008 - Every Christian’s job description
April 27, 2008 - Face to face
April 20, 2008 - Jesus slept
April 13, 2008 - A teacher’s helping hands
April 6, 2008 - Freeze the sleaze
March 30, 2008 - Resisting the libel of the label
March 23, 2008 - Famous last words
March 16, 2008 - The humbling, convincing truth of biblical prophecy
March 9, 2008 - Longevity—an overlooked leadership principle
March 2, 2008 - Timeless methods of money management
February 24, 2008 - Thanks, Russ—see you soon
February 17, 2008 - A friend of the world, or a friend of God?
February 10, 2008 - Life-changing words
February 3, 2008 - Can’t miss
January 27, 2008 - Approval ratings
January 20, 2008 - Beyond conception
January 13, 2008 - Not too safe
January 6, 2008 - Amenities
December 30, 2007 - Climate change
December 23, 2007 - Big dreams in a little town
December 16, 2007 - Rest in peace
December 5, 2007 - God’s hand of mercy
December 2, 2007 - Holy humor
November 25, 2007 - So your family isn’t perfect?
November 18, 2007 - Were the whole realm of nature mine
November 11, 2007 - He knows
November 4, 2007 - Plan C
October 28, 2007 - Overcoming evil with good
October 21, 2007 - The eye of the beholder
October 14, 2007 - Airport lessons
October 7, 2007 - Wisdom on the go
September 30, 2007 - Those other songwriters
September 23, 2007 - Gathering the lame
September 16, 2007 - God, me, the world
September 9, 2007 - Look again
September 2, 2007 - Complete the work
August 26, 2007 - Annoyance, weapon, or gift?
August 19, 2007 - The fourth ‘R’
August 5, 2007 - Beyond our reach?
August 5, 2007 - Bend a bow of bronze
July 29, 2007 - You count
July 22, 2007 - Searching for buried treasure
July 15, 2007 - Free delivery
July 8, 2007 - The starting point
July 1, 2007 - Spend yourself
June 24, 2007 - Circuit-riding members
June 17, 2007 - Life sentences
June 10, 2007 - Good housekeepers
June 3, 2007 - Back rowing
May 27, 2007 - The singing voice of God
May 20, 2007 - What’s on your list?
May 13, 2007 - Multi-Operational Managers
May 6, 2007 - Whatever is best for you
April 29, 2007 - Generational accountability
April 22, 2007 - Don’t play with fire
April 15, 2007 - Love for pets (and for God’s other creatures)
April 8, 2007 - If it isn’t true
March 25, 2007 - How to help an atheist
March 18, 2007 - Don’t throw away the scale
March 11, 2007 - Under the radar
March 4, 2007 - In the hospital room
February 25, 2007 - Itching to do wrong
February 18, 2007 - Be yourself
February 11, 2007 - Working at it
February 4, 2007 - In the secret place
January 28, 2007 - Faithful with a few
January 21, 2007 - The pathway of inconvenience
January 14, 2007 - Too much attention
January 7, 2007 - Untapped capacity
December 31, 2006 - Rewriting the script
December 24, 2006 - What is the baby’s name?
December 17, 2006 - We’ll see
December 8, 2006 - Evangelism is a team effort
December 3, 2006 - They didn’t know
November 26, 2006 - Only the best
November 19, 2006 - Layer upon layer of blessing
November 12, 2006 - Cities? Who cares?
November 5, 2006 - A rare form of courage
October 29, 2006 - Can I borrow that?
October 22, 2006 - How full is your plate?
October 15, 2006 - Shouldn’t life be easier?
October 8, 2006 - Time for a check-up
October 1, 2006 - Always remember why
September 24, 2006 - Painful questions, perfect delight
September 17, 2006 - God’s picture frame
September 10, 2006 - No one is useless if he has a friend
September 3, 2006 - On the job with Jesus
August 27, 2006 - Taking pains to do what is right
August 20, 2006 - What can you learn from a child?
August 13, 2006 - Interruptions
August 6, 2006 - Doing your part in the ‘super-organism’
July 30, 2006 - Go and show, then let it go
July 23, 2006 - Harmony
July 16, 2006 - A milestone
July 9, 2006 - The glory of the extra mile
July 2, 2006 - Living in denial?
June 25, 2006 - How good and pleasant it could be!
June 18, 2006 - Advice for young leaders
June 11, 2006 - The person not to marry
June 4, 2006 - Good moments
May 28, 2006 - Empty and full
May 21, 2006 - The best thing about your body
May 14, 2006 - Tough and tender moms
April 30, 2006 - Fed up?
April 23, 2006 - Pillows and bricks
April 16, 2006 - We had hoped
April 9, 2006 - 'Fess up
April 2, 2006 - Where have all the Bibles gone?
March 26, 2006 - Old so soon
March 19, 2006 - Still in the woods
March 12, 2006 - Encourage your kids-don't exasperate them
March 5, 2006 - That empty feeling
February 26, 2006 - The church: a trouble-free zone?
February 19, 2006 - No one understands
February 12, 2006 - Clarity and courage
February 5, 2006 - What will they remember?
January 29, 2006 - The discomfort zone
January 22, 2006 - A voice like no other
January 15, 2006 - A mouth touched by the Master
January 8, 2006 - Owe no
January 1, 2006 - It just 'happened'?
December 25, 2005 - Christmas contradictions
December 18, 2005 - Three stories
December 11, 2005 - Security measures
December 4, 2005 - Stay Colders
November 27, 2005 - 2055
November 20, 2005 - Living like a king
November 13, 2005 - Breaking the pavement in Ukraine
November 6, 2005 - Second stringers
October 30, 2005 - Praying in the dark
October 23, 2005 - The egg basket
October 16, 2005 - The sheep in the shadows
October 9, 2005 - Overcoming grace-resistance
October 2, 2005 - Honesty is the Lord's policy
September 25, 2005 - Kingdom kids
September 18, 2005 - Custom-made Christians
September 11, 2005 - Seeing the whole picture
August 26, 2005 - What a loss!