In a famous sonnet the English poet Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote, “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.” I can’t reduce my marriage to mathematics, but when I think about my wife Candy I can identify many ways to quantify our love.
Number of wedding anniversaries we have celebrated: 33.
Days we have been together “for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health”: more than 12,000.
Children we have brought up together: three.
Hours I have spent waiting impatiently for her to come to the car when I’m ready to go somewhere: at least 60. Hours she has spent waiting for me to come home from work, late for supper: at least 600.
Years she has been paid for her work as a Registered Nurse: 12. Years she has received no pay whatsoever for her work as a mother and a minister’s wife: 33.
Estimated number of shirts she has ironed for me during the course of our marriage: 5,148. Estimated number of shirts I have ironed for myself over the same period of time: 500.
Estimated number of times I have ironed an article of clothing for her over the same period of time: maybe three. (It’s not that I’m unwilling. She doesn’t trust my ironing skills.)
Times she got up during the night to care for our kids when they were sick: unknown, but whatever the number, it’s at least five times the number of nights when I did it.
Times she has watched an entire football game with me from kickoff till the final gun: 0.
Times I have watched a movie with her that I didn’t really enjoy: 33 (at least once a year).
Estimated number of loaves of her delicious homemade oatmeal bread she has baked over the years: 825.
Times we have exchanged snippy comments: at least 12,000 (an average of once per day, with occasional gusts up to 10 or more).
Occasions when we got so angry with each other that I flipped toothpaste at her and she hit me with a loaf of bread: once. (It’s a famous story in our family—the stuff legends are made of.)
Dumb things I have done over the years: too many to count.
Dumb things she has done over the years: none I’m going to mention in this column.
Number of states we have visited during the course of our marriage: 48.
Times I have thanked the Lord for blessing me with such a terrific wife: more than I can count.
Years Elizabeth Barrett spent ill and living as a recluse, alone in her bedroom: five.
Number of letters Elizabeth exchanged over 20 months with her suitor, the English author Robert Browning, prior to their marriage: 574. (They eloped in 1846.)
Times Elizabeth’s father spoke to her again after she married Robert: 0. (Her father bitterly opposed their marriage.)
Number of children the Brownings had together: one (a son named Pen, born when Elizabeth was 43.)
Elizabeth Barrett Browning died at age 55. Years she and Robert Browning were married before she died: 15. This means I already have enjoyed more than twice as many years with my wife as the Brownings shared together. I have been given far more days with my beloved than the poet was given who wrote, “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.”
But then again, who’s counting? |L
OTHER COLUMNS:
November 15, 2009 - How do we see the cities?
November 8, 2009 - Mind your posture
October 25, 2009 - Why they go
October 18, 2009 - Shifting gears
October 11, 2009 - Preparing for D Day
October 4, 2009 - What about when the giants win?
September 27, 2009 - Little losses
September 20, 2009 - Who will attend your funeral?
September 13, 2009 - Loving our ‘children’s children’
September 6, 2009 - John the job coach
August 30, 2009 - An open letter to a closed heart
August 23, 2009 - Trying to be tall
August 16, 2009 - Are you serious?
August 9, 2009 - The benefits (and limits) of education
August 2, 2009 - Behind the snail bus
July 26, 2009 - The official scorer
July 19, 2009 - Pleasant dreams
July 12, 2009 - Watchmen on the wall
July 5, 2009 - Standing at the crossroads
June 28, 2009 - Come on down
June 21, 2009 - A godly father
June 14, 2009 - Greater things
May 31, 2009 - Avoiding Chapter 11
May 24, 2009 - Some things I remember
May 17, 2009 - In bad shape
May 10, 2009 - What did your mother teach you?
May 3, 2009 - Buy in
April 26, 2009 - Seven years to build it
April 19, 2009 - The flock on your block
April 12, 2009 - Untold stories
April 5, 2009 - The path strewn with palm branches
March 29, 2009 - Jesus’ small group
March 22, 2009 - One very fine meal
March 15, 2009 - How big is big enough?
March 8, 2009 - Stewing over stewardship
March 1, 2009 - Removing trust rust
February 22, 2009 - Part of God’s answer
February 15, 2009 - Putting the coin in the koinonia
February 8, 2009 - I still do
February 1, 2009 - Forward progress
January 25, 2009 - His name is . . . controversial?
January 18, 2009 - Matt
January 11, 2009 - The other 90 percent
January 4, 2009 - Growing by leaps and boundaries
December 28, 2008 - Too late for the late Mr. Lazarus?
December 21, 2008 - Christmas bows
December 14, 2008 - Good gifts for tough times
December 7, 2008 - Synoptic parents
November 30, 2008 - Fully engaged
November 23, 2008 - Abundant praise
November 16, 2008 - The cool of the day
November 9, 2008 - Faith, not fear
November 2, 2008 - Going through Samaria
October 26, 2008 - Redefining success
October 19, 2008 - The heresy of hearsay
October 12, 2008 - Here am I
October 5, 2008 - Present—and accounted for
September 28, 2008 - The beauty of baptism
September 21, 2008 - Theme songs
September 14, 2008 - Stress these things
September 7, 2008 - The older I get
August 31, 2008 - Are you ubiquitous?
August 24, 2008 - The Bible in pictures
August 17, 2008 - Watch pocket syndrome
August 10, 2008 - Seriously, we need to laugh
August 3, 2008 - Real parents
July 27, 2008 - Holes in our pockets
July 20, 2008 - Crushed
July 13, 2008 - Unloved
July 6, 2008 - Blackberry cobbler
June 29, 2008 - The strength you have
June 22, 2008 - How long does a sermon need to be?
June 8, 2008 - Someone else’s mess
June 1, 2008 - Afterward
May 25, 2008 - Diving for pearls
May 18, 2008 - There’d better be a Heaven
May 11, 2008 - Moses’ mom
May 4, 2008 - Every Christian’s job description
April 27, 2008 - Face to face
April 20, 2008 - Jesus slept
April 13, 2008 - A teacher’s helping hands
April 6, 2008 - Freeze the sleaze
March 30, 2008 - Resisting the libel of the label
March 23, 2008 - Famous last words
March 16, 2008 - The humbling, convincing truth of biblical prophecy
March 9, 2008 - Longevity—an overlooked leadership principle
March 2, 2008 - Timeless methods of money management
February 24, 2008 - Thanks, Russ—see you soon
February 17, 2008 - A friend of the world, or a friend of God?
February 10, 2008 - Life-changing words
February 3, 2008 - Can’t miss
January 27, 2008 - Approval ratings
January 20, 2008 - Beyond conception
January 13, 2008 - Not too safe
January 6, 2008 - Amenities
December 30, 2007 - Climate change
December 23, 2007 - Big dreams in a little town
December 16, 2007 - Rest in peace
December 5, 2007 - God’s hand of mercy
December 2, 2007 - Holy humor
November 25, 2007 - So your family isn’t perfect?
November 18, 2007 - Were the whole realm of nature mine
November 11, 2007 - He knows
November 4, 2007 - Plan C
October 28, 2007 - Overcoming evil with good
October 21, 2007 - The eye of the beholder
October 14, 2007 - Airport lessons
October 7, 2007 - Wisdom on the go
September 30, 2007 - Those other songwriters
September 23, 2007 - Gathering the lame
September 16, 2007 - God, me, the world
September 9, 2007 - Look again
September 2, 2007 - Complete the work
August 26, 2007 - Annoyance, weapon, or gift?
August 19, 2007 - The fourth ‘R’
August 5, 2007 - Beyond our reach?
August 5, 2007 - Bend a bow of bronze
July 29, 2007 - You count
July 22, 2007 - Searching for buried treasure
July 15, 2007 - Free delivery
July 8, 2007 - The starting point
July 1, 2007 - Spend yourself
June 24, 2007 - Circuit-riding members
June 17, 2007 - Life sentences
June 10, 2007 - Good housekeepers
June 3, 2007 - Back rowing
May 27, 2007 - The singing voice of God
May 20, 2007 - What’s on your list?
May 13, 2007 - Multi-Operational Managers
May 6, 2007 - Whatever is best for you
April 29, 2007 - Generational accountability
April 22, 2007 - Don’t play with fire
April 15, 2007 - Love for pets (and for God’s other creatures)
April 8, 2007 - If it isn’t true
March 25, 2007 - How to help an atheist
March 18, 2007 - Don’t throw away the scale
March 11, 2007 - Under the radar
March 4, 2007 - In the hospital room
February 25, 2007 - Itching to do wrong
February 18, 2007 - Be yourself
February 11, 2007 - Working at it
February 4, 2007 - In the secret place
January 28, 2007 - Faithful with a few
January 21, 2007 - The pathway of inconvenience
January 14, 2007 - Too much attention
January 7, 2007 - Untapped capacity
December 31, 2006 - Rewriting the script
December 24, 2006 - What is the baby’s name?
December 17, 2006 - We’ll see
December 8, 2006 - Evangelism is a team effort
December 3, 2006 - They didn’t know
November 26, 2006 - Only the best
November 19, 2006 - Layer upon layer of blessing
November 12, 2006 - Cities? Who cares?
November 5, 2006 - A rare form of courage
October 29, 2006 - Can I borrow that?
October 22, 2006 - How full is your plate?
October 15, 2006 - Shouldn’t life be easier?
October 8, 2006 - Time for a check-up
October 1, 2006 - Always remember why
September 24, 2006 - Painful questions, perfect delight
September 17, 2006 - God’s picture frame
September 10, 2006 - No one is useless if he has a friend
September 3, 2006 - On the job with Jesus
August 27, 2006 - Taking pains to do what is right
August 20, 2006 - What can you learn from a child?
August 13, 2006 - Interruptions
August 6, 2006 - Doing your part in the ‘super-organism’
July 30, 2006 - Go and show, then let it go
July 23, 2006 - Harmony
July 16, 2006 - A milestone
July 9, 2006 - The glory of the extra mile
July 2, 2006 - Living in denial?
June 25, 2006 - How good and pleasant it could be!
June 18, 2006 - Advice for young leaders
June 11, 2006 - The person not to marry
June 4, 2006 - Good moments
May 28, 2006 - Empty and full
May 21, 2006 - The best thing about your body
May 14, 2006 - Tough and tender moms
April 30, 2006 - Fed up?
April 23, 2006 - Pillows and bricks
April 16, 2006 - We had hoped
April 9, 2006 - 'Fess up
April 2, 2006 - Where have all the Bibles gone?
March 26, 2006 - Old so soon
March 19, 2006 - Still in the woods
March 12, 2006 - Encourage your kids-don't exasperate them
March 5, 2006 - That empty feeling
February 26, 2006 - The church: a trouble-free zone?
February 19, 2006 - No one understands
February 12, 2006 - Clarity and courage
February 5, 2006 - What will they remember?
January 29, 2006 - The discomfort zone
January 22, 2006 - A voice like no other
January 15, 2006 - A mouth touched by the Master
January 8, 2006 - Owe no
January 1, 2006 - It just 'happened'?
December 25, 2005 - Christmas contradictions
December 18, 2005 - Three stories
December 11, 2005 - Security measures
December 4, 2005 - Stay Colders
November 27, 2005 - 2055
November 20, 2005 - Living like a king
November 13, 2005 - Breaking the pavement in Ukraine
November 6, 2005 - Second stringers
October 30, 2005 - Praying in the dark
October 23, 2005 - The egg basket
October 16, 2005 - The sheep in the shadows
October 9, 2005 - Overcoming grace-resistance
October 2, 2005 - Honesty is the Lord's policy
September 25, 2005 - Kingdom kids
September 18, 2005 - Custom-made Christians
September 11, 2005 - Seeing the whole picture
August 26, 2005 - What a loss!
