My husband and I have entertained the idea of adopting a child from another country, but our extended family has been lukewarm about it. What should we know about adoption as an option for our family?
With 143 million orphans in the world, it is encouraging to hear about so many families considering adoption. And it’s understandable that some may have questions.
Adoption changed our lives. Unable to conceive, we felt God calling us to adopt a child from Haiti. We found an orphanage in Port-au-Prince and God led us to a seven-year-old girl, Natchez, who was to become part of our family. We wrote her a letter and put together a family photo album that told her about us. After we completed the paperwork and endured the lengthy waiting period, Natchez Joy Heckber came to our home on December 7, 2007.
Perhaps answering some frequently asked questions will help as you consider adoption.
Should we adopt domestically or internationally?
This is a matter of personal preference. Infants are often available through private adoption. Older children are more readily adoptable through foster care in the United States. On an international level, many countries throughout the world offer adoption. You can visit www.travel.state.gov and find information on the countries that offer adoption. Legal stipulations vary by country. You will also want to take into consideration the stability of the country and the process it follows. While we felt called to adopt a child from Haiti, the country’s political environment was unstable and the rules kept changing throughout the process.
How old a child should we adopt?
This is a decision you will need to make as a family. Be sure to consider the time it will take to process the adoption. For example, if you want to adopt a two year old, you may need to select a child who is now an infant if it takes 18-24 months to complete the adoption.
How long does an adoption process take?
To adopt domestically, the time varies with private adoption versus adoption through foster care. To adopt internationally, it will normally take four to six months to complete the paperwork and anywhere from six to 24 months to complete the adoption. Our adoption took 23 months from the time we started our paperwork until our daughter came home.
How much does an adoption cost?
An adoption through foster care can cost anywhere from $2,000-$5,000. Private adoption costs may range from $15,000-$25,000. The cost of an international adoption varies depending on the country. On average, an international adoption can cost $25,000-$30,000. In 2007, about 20 percent of domestic adoptions cost more than $30,000. Over 40 percent of international adoptions cost more than $30,000 (2007 Adoption Cost Survey from Adoptive Families). While the costs can be staggering, please don’t let financial obstacles stop you. There are many wonderful organizations who offer grants for adoptive families. The IRS also allows a tax credit of $11,390 that can be taken over a five-year
period. Some employers offer adoption assistance and some organizations and banks offer adoption loans. We didn’t have the financial resources to adopt, but God provided what we needed when we needed it.
What should we expect?
Even though every adoption journey is different, there are two things you may expect. First, expect the unexpected. The process of adoption can be an emotional roller coaster. You will experience times of enthusiasm and joy, but you will also experience discouragement and disappointment. Even though we were told adoption was very emotional, we were surprised at the ups and downs we experienced throughout the process. Second, expect to rely on God. Through most of the process, you are not in control. You are waiting on birthparents, agencies, and governments to make decisions that affect your family. The process will not go just as you had planned and you have to put it all in God’s hands to bring your child home.
What is the first step?
Pray about what God is leading your family to do. Continue to do your research on the different options that are available. Many good books and resources are available that outline the adoption process (www.theadoptionguide.com). What was most helpful to us was to connect with another family from our church who had adopted; they were able to be honest with us about what the process was like and they were a tremendous source of encouragement. After you have an idea about what God is leading you to do, you should interview agencies until you find one you are comfortable working with.
Adopting Natchez has been one of our greatest joys, and we can truly see God’s hand in this adoption. She is a wonderful addition to our family and we are so blessed to have her as our daughter. If God leads you to adopt, you can expect to be greatly blessed! |L
Brian and Kelly Heckber serve at First Church of Christ in Burlington, KY. He can be reached at bheckber@1stchurchofchrist.org.
Send your questions about family life to Phil and Bev Haas in care of The Lookout, 8805 Governor’s Hill Drive, Suite 400, Cincinnati, OH 45249, lookout@standardpub.com.We regret that personal replies are not always possible.
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