Most families are in need of more calm and less stress. Your question rightly asks about removing “some” of your stress. We cannot remove all of our stress. That would be an unrealistic and unhealthy goal. The truth is everyone needs some stress to keep moving in the right direction.

However, the breathless pace most of us keep is taking a heavy toll on family life. For the most part, families are overcommitted and under-connected. It’s no wonder many people, including our kids, are experiencing bouts of depression.

We don’t think you should throw up your hands and say “It is what it is.” There is something that can be done about the stress you and your family are experiencing. Believe it or not, much of the stress can be removed if you make some tough choices aimed at gaining control over your schedule. Here are four choices Dr. Jim Burns recommends to help lessen the stress in family life.

Don’t let all the “stuff” of everyday life turn your home into a tense, stressful environment. Make your home a safe, calm haven of escape from the madness of the outside world. The first place to start may be with the noise level in your home. Turning down the volume of television and music can help. When different kids are listening to music at the same time, having them use headphones can help you regain some sense of sanity around the house. Try not to overreact to circumstances of home life. Many issues will need to be addressed, but when you get angry or frustrated, overreactions can cause family stress levels to rise. Randy Peterson and Thomas Whiteman in their book, Stress Test (NavPresss, 2000), call this a stress aggravator. Don’t let your reaction add to the stress of the moment; instead try to cool down before you respond to such situations. Your family will usually follow your example.

In 1 Timothy 4:8 an older apostle Paul explains to his young protÈgÈ Timothy, “Physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” Having some kind of quiet time each day is a great way to calm your spirit and get better acquainted with God. Encourage your family to do the same. Consider a regular family devotional time. Take advantage of opportunities for worship your church offers.

First Timothy 4:8 is also a good reminder to us that “physical training is of some value.” To lessen stress, we need to maintain balance in our lives. All work and no rest will make you a stressed out person. Everyone in your family needs plenty of rest, exercise, and a healthy diet.

Within our families we find the important connections that will carry us through the good times as well as the bad. Strained or broken family relationships are naturally accompanied by stress. To lessen stress, you’ll need to take the lead in your family to make sure your relationships become and stay healthy. Start by evaluating whether or not your family is “enjoying” or “annoying” one another. Then make the needed adjustments to change and strengthen those family relationships.

No family is exempt from difficulties in life. Jesus said, “In this world [we] will have trouble” (John 16:33). Some troubles last for a moment while others last for a season of life. How you respond to the hard times is a key factor in determining whether or not stress will create a chaotic climate in your family life during these times. The people who are most content in life are the ones who can stay flexible when the tough times roll in. They are the ones who end up standing when those times have passed.

In the end, your family’s stress levels are connected with your own choices. You can allow busyness, over-commitment, and hard times to take their toll on your family, or you can make active choices to lower the stress in your household. Be assertive and make the tough choices to lighten and lessen the stress in your home. |L

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