God designed families so children and parents would develop a special bond. Because of this special relationship, parents have a greater opportunity to teach and influence their children than anyone else. Your church is correctly teaching parents to take on the primary responsibility for teaching their children about God. Therefore parents must find ways to teach their children biblical truth and not depend solely on the church to provide spiritual training.

Throughout the Bible God’s intent has been that parents provide the basic spiritual instruction (Deuteronomy 6:4-9). Children’s ministers and teachers at church can help, but at the end of the day this responsibility rests with parents. After hearing this, some parents may feel they do not have the creativity or experience necessary to conduct interesting family Bible studies. They may feel inadequate or ineffective in the task of teaching their children about God. Indeed, we may feel that the religious instruction of our children should be left to “church experts.” While humility is an admirable trait, the fact remains that God has given parents the primary responsibility for passing on his truth and way of life to their children. How can we accomplish this challenging task? Here are three tips to help you meet this challenge.

Parents must set the pace. Your faith is better caught than taught. You are the number one influence upon your child’s faith. Sometimes you may not feel like you have that kind of influence, but you do. From childhood, we learn best by observing others. Our methods of teaching our children mean little to them, but our example means everything. What lesson are children learning from parents who drop their children off at church and go elsewhere before returning to pick up them up? A child’s earliest concept of God doesn’t come from a book or church, but from his parents. Martin Luther said, “I have difficulty praying the Lord’s Prayer because whenever I say ‘Our Father’ I think of my father who was hard, unyielding, and relentless.” Even the exceptional church or most exciting children’s ministry cannot replace parents who are role models for their children 24/7.

The most effective ministers and teachers we know have a “conversational style.” That means when you’re listening to them you feel like they are simply talking to you, not preaching or lecturing. When you talk to your kids about Jesus or spiritual matters, be yourself. Some of the best “God conversations” we’ve had with our kids have happened while we were driving somewhere, playing basketball, or working around the house. For some reason, when we are going about our daily activities, questions and information flow more easily and are not forced. Talking about God happens most naturally when your children hear you talk about your struggles and what you’re learning. If we make the effort to provide them with biblical instruction—however awkwardly we may start out—they will learn that this is important to us and should be to them as well.

When families reach out beyond their own homes to serve others, they develop a stronger spiritual bond. The call to Jesus is a call to serve. Jesus “did not come to be served, but to serve” (Mark 10:45). Families that serve together regularly have a strong foundation and closeness that other families are missing. Families who help others promote a lifestyle of service; and in serving together, they become a stronger family.

Consider what the apostle Paul wrote to Timothy: “I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also” (2 Timothy 1:5, New King James Version). Timothy’s grandmother had this faith and was able to pass it on to her daughter, who then passed it on to Timothy. You can do the same by setting a good example for your kids, talking to them about God, and serving God together.

These are three proven ways to pass down your faith to your children. We’ve said them before, and we know it’s easy to say, but difficult to do. When all is said and done, this is our highest priority as parents. Do your part, ask God to do his, and trust your children to grow up knowing, loving, and serving Jesus with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength. |L

OTHER COLUMNS:
November 8, 2009 - Replacing anger with empathy
October 25, 2009 - Laying the right foundation
October 11, 2009 - Parenting without fear
September 27, 2009 - Mentoring the motherless
September 13, 2009 - Sharing family stories
August 30, 2009 - Parenting solo
August 16, 2009 - Surviving junior high
August 2, 2009 - Healthy boundaries at home
July 19, 2009 - Parenting curriculum
July 5, 2009 - Job loss and your family
June 21, 2009 - Winning dads
June 7, 2009 - Benefits of marriage
May 24, 2009 - Love at a distance
May 10, 2009 - Mother and daughter conflicts
April 26, 2009 - Caring at a distance
March 29, 2009 - Family meal time
March 15, 2009 - Giving an allowance
March 1, 2009 - Growing children spiritually
February 15, 2009 - Reduce your stress level
February 1, 2009 - Pitfalls in parenting teens
January 18, 2009 - Vital signs of healthy families
January 4, 2009 - Life after divorce
December 21, 2008 - Santa and Christmas
December 7, 2008 - Raising spiritual champions
November 23, 2008 - Family traditions
November 9, 2008 - Parenting after divorce
October 26, 2008 - Feeling like a failure
October 12, 2008 - How to save your marriage
September 28, 2008 - Rolling with the changes
September 14, 2008 - Teens need boundaries
August 31, 2008 - To separate or not
August 17, 2008 - Teen drivers
August 3, 2008 - Adoption worked for our family
July 20, 2008 - Parenting curriculum
July 6, 2008 - Tips for new parents
June 22, 2008 - The swivel door
May 25, 2008 - Expectations in marriage
May 25, 2008 - Helping our children become decision makers
May 11, 2008 - God’s plan for sexual purity
April 27, 2008 - Families and forgiveness
April 13, 2008 - Expressing thanks
March 30, 2008 - Love languages
March 18, 2008 - Cultivate commitment
March 2, 2008 - Teaching children about money
February 17, 2008 - Reclaim your family time
February 3, 2008 - Keeping the peace
January 20, 2008 - A preacher’s wife
January 6, 2008 - Passing on your faith
December 23, 2007 - Self-worth in children
December 9, 2007 - Forgiveness in the family
November 25, 2007 - Santa Claus is coming to town
November 11, 2007 - Parents under stress
October 28, 2007 - A more satisfying marriage
October 14, 2007 - Codependency
September 16, 2007 - Rewards and motivation
September 2, 2007 - Improving your child’s work ethic
August 19, 2007 - Teaming with teachers for success
August 5, 2007 - Communicating with your teen
July 22, 2007 - Childhood trauma
July 8, 2007 - Delegation and responsibility
June 24, 2007 - Learning to say no
June 10, 2007 - Teaching children about money
May 27, 2007 - When children rebel
May 13, 2007 - Mom’s wisdom
April 29, 2007 - 10 tips for parenting teenagers
April 15, 2007 - Making marital intimacy a priority
April 1, 2007 - Kids need time to play
March 18, 2007 - When you need counseling
March 4, 2007 - Bouncing back
February 18, 2007 - Narrowing your focus
February 4, 2007 - Choose your battles carefully
January 21, 2007 - New parents
January 7, 2007 - Parenting pointers
December 17, 2006 - The power of praise
December 3, 2006 - Knowing a woman’s heart
November 19, 2006 - On a more positive path
November 5, 2006 - Putting household chores in a positive light
October 22, 2006 - Finding significance
October 8, 2006 - Secrets of a healthy family
September 24, 2006 - Confronting elder abuse
September 10, 2006 - Parenting grandchildren
August 27, 2006 - Teaching our children right from wrong
August 13, 2006 - Letting go of adult children
July 30, 2006 - Solving your solvable problem