Being a new parent is both thrilling and terrifying! What advice can you share with new parents?

We are not baby experts, though we have been in your role more than once. Having a new baby in the family is one of the most special times in a parent’s life. As you look at that little one, you see God’s miracle of life. Yet as you noted, the thought of this special little person being totally dependent upon you can be daunting. Parenting is a most challenging task. There is no single way to parent and there are no perfect parents. Keeping this in mind, let’s consider some issues we hope will prove to be beneficial for you in your new role as a parent.

Learn about Growth and Development

Understanding growth and development will provide general information about what to expect your child to do at a particular age. Every parent wants his child to be “normal.” Since this is your first child, such an understanding can be especially insightful. The information you gain on growth and development is meant to be a “yardstick” to evaluate your child’s progress. No two children grow and develop at the same rate, so don’t get caught comparing your child’s development with another child’s. If you think your child is delayed in a particular area, discuss your concerns with your family physician.

Respond to Crying

Some babies cry a lot and others cry little. We had one of each! Since your baby cannot talk, she will communicate her wants and needs to you by crying. Your baby may utter one cry when she is hungry, another cry when she needs her diaper changed, and another when she is bored. This sounds a little like the option of different rings on our cell phones, doesn’t it? Respond to your baby’s cries so she will develop a sense of trust and security. There is no need to fear that responding, comforting, playing with, or caring for your baby will spoil her. Some research now indicates that teaching sign language to young babies helps them communicate their needs rather than just crying.

Trust Yourself

New parents are commonly nervous when they bring their newborn home from the hospital. Trust in your abilities and instincts to be a good parent. You will have the most contact with your baby and will get to know your child better than anyone else. If you have a question or concern, don’t be afraid to ask a veteran parent. If you don’t agree with the first answer you receive, ask several others and compare answers. Proverbs reminds us that there is a greater chance of success with “many advisers” (Proverbs 15:22). Your pediatrician is also a good source of information.

To Work or Not to Work

Deciding whether one or both parents will work is a common decision that should be made in consultation with your spouse. Going to work doesn’t mean you are a bad parent, just as staying home doesn’t automatically make you a good parent. If you choose to work outside the home, quality childcare is critical and it should include the following:

(1) A caregiver who provides your child with care and guidance and who works with you and your family to make sure your child is grow and learning.

(2) A setting that keeps your child safe and healthy.

(3) Activities that are suited to your child’s stage of growth and development and that help your child develop mentally, physically, socially, and emotionally.

Make Time for You and Your Spouse

With all the demands of parenthood, it will be easy to neglect your own needs and the needs of your spouse in order to concentrate exclusively on your new baby. You may be up late at night, up in the middle of the night, up at the crack of dawn, and up all day long. It won’t take long to get tired and grouchy. It’s important to make time for you and your spouse. When you feel trapped, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Your family and friends can be a wonderful support system and provide a much needed break.

Relax and enjoy being a parent. Have fun playing with your baby. Hold, rock, and cuddle your baby. Talk to your baby (even before your baby can verbally talk back). Read stories. Go for walks. Sing. Play gentle games together like peek-a-boo or patty-cake. And be careful not to get so consumed by what you should and shouldn’t do that you miss out on the simple joys of parenthood. |L

Send your questions about family life to Phil and Bev Haas in care of The Lookout, 8121 Hamilton Avenue, Cincinnati, Ohio 45231, lookout@standardpub.com.We regret that personal replies are not always possible. Phil and Bev Haas are involved in education and family ministry in Cincinnati, Ohio. They are the parents of two children.

OTHER COLUMNS:
November 8, 2009 - Replacing anger with empathy
October 25, 2009 - Laying the right foundation
October 11, 2009 - Parenting without fear
September 27, 2009 - Mentoring the motherless
September 13, 2009 - Sharing family stories
August 30, 2009 - Parenting solo
August 16, 2009 - Surviving junior high
August 2, 2009 - Healthy boundaries at home
July 19, 2009 - Parenting curriculum
July 5, 2009 - Job loss and your family
June 21, 2009 - Winning dads
June 7, 2009 - Benefits of marriage
May 24, 2009 - Love at a distance
May 10, 2009 - Mother and daughter conflicts
April 26, 2009 - Caring at a distance
April 12, 2009 - Teaching children about God
March 29, 2009 - Family meal time
March 15, 2009 - Giving an allowance
March 1, 2009 - Growing children spiritually
February 15, 2009 - Reduce your stress level
February 1, 2009 - Pitfalls in parenting teens
January 18, 2009 - Vital signs of healthy families
January 4, 2009 - Life after divorce
December 21, 2008 - Santa and Christmas
December 7, 2008 - Raising spiritual champions
November 23, 2008 - Family traditions
November 9, 2008 - Parenting after divorce
October 26, 2008 - Feeling like a failure
October 12, 2008 - How to save your marriage
September 28, 2008 - Rolling with the changes
September 14, 2008 - Teens need boundaries
August 31, 2008 - To separate or not
August 17, 2008 - Teen drivers
August 3, 2008 - Adoption worked for our family
July 20, 2008 - Parenting curriculum
July 6, 2008 - Tips for new parents
June 22, 2008 - The swivel door
May 25, 2008 - Expectations in marriage
May 25, 2008 - Helping our children become decision makers
May 11, 2008 - God’s plan for sexual purity
April 27, 2008 - Families and forgiveness
April 13, 2008 - Expressing thanks
March 30, 2008 - Love languages
March 18, 2008 - Cultivate commitment
March 2, 2008 - Teaching children about money
February 17, 2008 - Reclaim your family time
February 3, 2008 - Keeping the peace
January 20, 2008 - A preacher’s wife
January 6, 2008 - Passing on your faith
December 23, 2007 - Self-worth in children
December 9, 2007 - Forgiveness in the family
November 25, 2007 - Santa Claus is coming to town
November 11, 2007 - Parents under stress
October 28, 2007 - A more satisfying marriage
October 14, 2007 - Codependency
September 16, 2007 - Rewards and motivation
September 2, 2007 - Improving your child’s work ethic
August 19, 2007 - Teaming with teachers for success
August 5, 2007 - Communicating with your teen
July 22, 2007 - Childhood trauma
July 8, 2007 - Delegation and responsibility
June 24, 2007 - Learning to say no
June 10, 2007 - Teaching children about money
May 27, 2007 - When children rebel
May 13, 2007 - Mom’s wisdom
April 29, 2007 - 10 tips for parenting teenagers
April 15, 2007 - Making marital intimacy a priority
April 1, 2007 - Kids need time to play
March 18, 2007 - When you need counseling
March 4, 2007 - Bouncing back
February 18, 2007 - Narrowing your focus
February 4, 2007 - Choose your battles carefully
January 7, 2007 - Parenting pointers
December 17, 2006 - The power of praise
December 3, 2006 - Knowing a woman’s heart
November 19, 2006 - On a more positive path
November 5, 2006 - Putting household chores in a positive light
October 22, 2006 - Finding significance
October 8, 2006 - Secrets of a healthy family
September 24, 2006 - Confronting elder abuse
September 10, 2006 - Parenting grandchildren
August 27, 2006 - Teaching our children right from wrong
August 13, 2006 - Letting go of adult children
July 30, 2006 - Solving your solvable problem