Home Life

Our daughter had a difficult year in school last year with her assignments and teacher, but now we’ve moved and live in a different district. What can I do to see that she has a successful year?

While there are no guarantees with our children, your child will have greater opportunities for success if you and her teacher develop and maintain good communication and everyone, including your daughter, understands his or her role and responsibilities.

Variables to Consider

If your daughter is not being successful (and we don’t necessarily mean as an honor roll student) at school, objectively observe your daughter and her study habits. Is she using a plan book and writing down her assignments? Many students incorrectly think they can remember all their assignments and end up with incomplete grades. How is she studying for tests? It’s easy to think she knows the material after just skimming through pages. Often reviewing with flashcards is beneficial. If she’s an auditory learner, have her read the material aloud. Perhaps you can take the review sheets, vocabulary words, or text and ask her questions. Most teachers give practice or pre-tests.

If her study habits are strong, look elsewhere for discrepancies. Do her teachers suspect a learning disability? Are there gaps in her knowledge? Maybe there are foundational skills that tutoring would address. Are there behaviors that interfere with her learning?

The best way to get answers to these questions is to effectively communicate with your daughter’s teachers.

Team up with the Teacher

Working together, parents and teachers make an effective team for educating children. Remember, you both have the child’s success as your goal, so don’t be defensive, angry, or judgmental. Believe that the teacher and school personnel want the best for your child. Communicate positively and be a willing team player. Become knowledgeable about your child’s classroom and school. Attend open houses and parent meetings and participate in activities at the school. Read newsletters and Web sites, volunteer when possible, and send e-mails and notes. All the informal communication will make it easier if you find it necessary to have a more formal parent-teacher-child conference.

Initiate Contact

Don’t wait if you believe there is a problem or difficulty (or if you just want to say “thanks”). You can make the first contact. A major problem with communication between parents and teachers is the failure of either the parent or the teacher to make the first move. Good communication is the responsibility of both the parent and teacher, and finger pointing serves no purpose. Just make a contact and follow the James 1:19 principle (Be quick to listen and slow to speak). You and the teacher both need to share your insights.

You have a right and a responsibility to look out for your child’s well-being. This is especially important when your daughter has had problems in the past. And please refrain from placing blame. Do not assume that because a teacher hasn’t contacted you, no problems exist. If your daughter is at the junior high or high school level, her teacher could be responsible for as many as 180 different students. At the very least, contact the school counselor if your child has more than one teacher and request an update. Make adjustments if necessary.

Some schools provide parents with a school handbook or directory that provides information about how (perhaps e-mail or voice mail) to contact the teacher and the best time to do so. If not, ask the teacher or the school office how and when you can contact the teacher.

Communicate Often

Communication is not something you can mark off the “to-do” list. It’s an ongoing process. Communicate frequently and regularly. Regular and ongoing feedback from the teacher will allow you to provide the specific help your child needs. Perhaps you’ll decide to send a weekly e-mail or note in your daughter’s plan book. Most teachers have no problem responding to parents; it is, however, next to impossible to call a parent every time an assignment is missed or to remember which parents are to get a weekly update. Keep the routine communication simple and manageable for everyone. Everyone—parents, teachers, and children—needs to follow through to maximize success. I’ve seen student attitude and performance change drastically when the parents, teachers, and student work together in a cooperative spirit. |L

Send your questions about family life to Phil and Bev Haas in care of The Lookout, 8805 Governor’s Hill Drive, Suite 400, Cincinnati, OH 45249, lookout@standardpub.com.We regret that personal replies are not always possible. Phil and Bev Haas are involved in education and family ministry in Cincinnati, Ohio. They are the parents of two children.