It was a Sunday night, and my friend Jonathan had to leave the drama early. I didn’t want to disturb anyone while I was trying to say goodbye, so I walked outside with him. For a moment we quietly stood at the gate of the church. It was a warm Venezuelan night and I soaked it in. I could hear the traffic buzzing by and I smelled the garbage heap in the corner of the courtyard. In the best “Spanglish” he could muster, Jonathan broke the silence. I noticed the anguish in his eyes. He had something heavy on his heart he wanted to discuss.

There I was with a friend who was about to pour out his heart, and I could barely understand what he was saying. Even worse, I had so many things I wanted to say, words of encouragement and strength. But I couldn’t speak his language. With no interpreter around, it was as though I were reduced to being a toddler, helpless and vulnerable.

We naturally withdraw from situations like this because we strive for control and self-reliance. Recently I spoke with my cousin who returned from being stationed in the Middle East. After his return he battled depression. I asked him if he had talked to anyone about it, and he responded by saying he worked through it himself, making him that much more “independent.”

This sense of independence is deeply ingrained into our culture. We don’t want to show our vulnerability. It’s uncomfortable and we don’t like it.

I have experienced these times of discomfort and vulnerability. Anytime I travel to a different country on a mission trip, I experience it. I can’t speak the language. I may or may not like the food. My health generally suffers, and if there ever are major problems, the security and structure of the United States aren’t around to back me up. Normally, the discomfort wouldn’t be worth it. It’s not like a relaxing vacation. The problem is I hear Jesus clearly tell my heart, “Go.” If Jesus wants me to go and is with me like he promises, why can it be so uncomfortable?

This feeling isn’t limited to my experiences outside of the United States, however. I’m in a mentoring group at my school. We try to meet once a week and our leader constantly challenges us to grow. But growth doesn’t come without a price. Things deep in our lives stand in the way, and so our leader coaxes out our hidden secrets and the “skeletons in our closets.”

Moses displayed an incredible amount of vulnerability. A slow-speaking Hebrew murderer was sent before the powerful Egyptians to demand the release of God’s people. God used Moses where he was the most vulnerable, where he had the least ability or control.

As Jesus traveled, he told people to drop what they were doing and follow him. How would you react if someone came to you while you were working and told you to leave everything so you could follow him? Jesus didn’t promise them plenty of food, a place to sleep, or any necessities of life. He revealed some of his power to them, but Scripture doesn’t say there was an outlined set of guarantees. The disciples had to become vulnerable and put their trust in Jesus to care for them.

God uses vulnerability. It accomplishes important things in a person’s life. It gives God an opportunity to reveal his power and glory in our weakness. Often, our pursuit of control and self-reliance blind us. Vulnerability helps cleanse our hearts of pride. Since we don’t go around boasting in our failure and weakness, vulnerability takes away the “I did it!” and the “Look at what I accomplished!” Vulnerability allows us to realize our shortcomings and be open to our need for God, giving room for the Spirit to work in and through us.

Looking back, my conversation with Jonathan was full of vulnerability. Jonathan was dealing with an issue that was troubling his heart. He couldn’t speak English and I couldn’t speak Spanish. Yet our mutual faith in Christ removed the discomfort of those barriers so the Spirit could work. I may have felt like a helpless toddler, but that night I felt closer to my friend Jonathan than ever before. We went from being friends who met because of a short-term mission trip to brothers who have special places in our hearts for each other—a brotherhood that will last for eternity.

I thank God I chose to be vulnerable. |L

OUTLOOK is a forum for responsible Christian writers. The views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Standard Publishing or The Lookout.

OTHER COLUMNS:
November 15, 2009 - Bringing Christ to French Guiana
November 1, 2009 - Walking the edge
October 18, 2009 - Watch what you say
October 4, 2009 - Proposing a new proverb
September 20, 2009 - Fear and trembling
September 6, 2009 - Elwyn
August 23, 2009 - Where did the Bible go?
August 9, 2009 - The public school: a local mission field
July 26, 2009 - Astonishing the judges
July 12, 2009 - Letting the past go
June 28, 2009 - Line up
June 14, 2009 - The path to spiritual growth
May 31, 2009 - A tribute to one of my heroes
May 17, 2009 - Silent soldier
April 19, 2009 - Operation Resensitization
April 5, 2009 - The temptations of ministers
March 8, 2009 - Conversation over shoes
February 22, 2009 - By their plurals you shall know them
February 8, 2009 - What is missing from your retirement plans?
January 25, 2009 - Turn the page
December 28, 2008 - Abba, Father
December 14, 2008 - Elementary truths
November 30, 2008 - The illusion
October 5, 2008 - Don’t miss this
September 21, 2008 - Foolish schemes
September 7, 2008 - God’s hand is everywhere
August 24, 2008 - The dance
August 10, 2008 - Strange land
July 27, 2008 - God’s amazing grace
July 13, 2008 - A best seller
June 29, 2008 - My grandfather’s clock and worship
June 1, 2008 - Reclaiming the name
May 4, 2008 - God is not our fairy godmother
April 6, 2008 - Success: what is it and who can measure up?
March 9, 2008 - Need to know
February 10, 2008 - The top three myths of singleness
January 13, 2008 - By invitation only
December 5, 2007 - Yes, Abbie, there is a Jesus
November 18, 2007 - 10 Ways to be a good Christmas customer
October 21, 2007 - The dividing line
September 23, 2007 - What do you fear?
September 9, 2007 - A life well lived
August 26, 2007 - To murmur, or not to murmur
July 29, 2007 - The cross and the Christian
July 15, 2007 - Turning the other cheek: still a valuable biblical principle
July 1, 2007 - Why the tie?
June 3, 2007 - The death of a son
May 6, 2007 - A prayer for the dying
April 8, 2007 - The omnipresent God
March 11, 2007 - Do the Amish have superheroes?
February 11, 2007 - What’s your black history?
January 14, 2007 - The split branch
December 31, 2006 - The house of regret
December 10, 2006 - The redemption of the innkeeper
November 26, 2006 - Too many choices
November 12, 2006 - Break the bashing habit: Learning to love the unsaved like Christ does: November 12, 2006
October 15, 2006 - Be ‘salt and light’ this Christmas!: October 15, 2006
September 17, 2006 - Who is a legalist?: September 17, 2006 Issue 38
July 23, 2006 - God speaks through our brokenness: July 23, 2006 Issue 38
June 25, 2006 - 'What I am looking for in my church leaders'