Something about children convicts me. Maybe it is their playful spirits. It could be their innocent perspectives. Or perhaps it is their ability to show their true emotions. Perhaps the reason children convict me is because they reveal truths about me, about God, and about my relationship with God.

I was babysitting three of my favorite kids. The oldest child, a boy, loved to play hide-and-seek. His two younger sisters were too frightened to hide by themselves, so we often squeezed three bodies into the hiding places I found for myself.

On one occasion I made my way to the back of a walk-in hall closet where the shadows would shroud me in darkness. No sooner had I settled into a comfortable position when both girls appeared at my side whispering in frightened voices, “It’s dark. I’m scared. Hold me.” I gathered them into my lap as best as I could and told them to hold on to me. But even knowing I was there with them did not put their fears at ease. They wanted more than comfort; they wanted action. I led them slowly out of the closet into the light, wishing they had trusted me in the darkness.

Recently I concluded a six-month tutoring program. Every Tuesday afternoon I went to one of the elementary schools in town to tutor a fourth grade girl in reading and math. Each week we completed a lesson from a workbook the tutoring program provided. It started out great. We enjoyed getting to know one other and had fun working through the lessons.

But slowly, something in her demeanor changed. She became less talkative and less patient. She would drag her feet up the stairs to the classroom where we met and then practically run down the stairs when we were done. No matter what I attempted to do to get her to enjoy our time together, she became more withdrawn. Soon her attitude rubbed off on me. Finally, the six long months came to an end and the tutoring program ended. We were both relieved and thankful it was over.

At times I act like the two little girls I babysat. I follow God, not knowing where he’s going but wanting to be with him. Then my eyes stray from him and focus on my surroundings. It’s dark. I become frightened and call out to him. He answers me. He pulls me up onto his lap and holds me. He makes himself known. When I am too frightened to trust the strength his presence provides, he leads me out of the darkness to prove his power to me.

At other times I am like the girl I tutored. I know God wants to teach me more about himself. I start off listening, eagerly soaking in all he reveals to me. But after a while, the joy of this experience wears off. I grow impatient with the lessons. It seems to take too much effort and too much time to drag out my Bible, skim through a chapter or two, and toss it back onto the shelf. I ignore the warning signs of complacency and begin to withdraw. Somehow he always brings me out, making me thankful one more of my spiritual dormancy periods is over.

I look back now and cringe thinking about the times I lost faith even though I knew following God would not always be easy. I’m sorry that I could ever let the world overwhelm me. Yet God remained faithful to me despite my lack of trust. I’m shamed when I think about the times I became stagnant in my faith, going through the motions because I felt it was my duty as a “good Christian.” I blush remembering the drudgery that my daily prayer and Bible reading had become. And then I thank God that he is not so easily swamped by the sludge that I build up in our relationship. He overcomes my fear and apathy. And he chooses to do this time and again.

Funny what simple truths kids can teach us. |L

OTHER COLUMNS:
November 15, 2009 - Bringing Christ to French Guiana
November 1, 2009 - Walking the edge
October 18, 2009 - Watch what you say
October 4, 2009 - Proposing a new proverb
September 20, 2009 - Fear and trembling
September 6, 2009 - Elwyn
August 23, 2009 - Where did the Bible go?
August 9, 2009 - The public school: a local mission field
July 26, 2009 - Astonishing the judges
July 12, 2009 - Letting the past go
June 28, 2009 - Line up
June 14, 2009 - The path to spiritual growth
May 31, 2009 - A tribute to one of my heroes
May 17, 2009 - Silent soldier
April 19, 2009 - Operation Resensitization
April 5, 2009 - The temptations of ministers
March 8, 2009 - Conversation over shoes
February 22, 2009 - By their plurals you shall know them
February 8, 2009 - What is missing from your retirement plans?
January 25, 2009 - Turn the page
December 28, 2008 - Abba, Father
November 30, 2008 - The illusion
October 19, 2008 - Acting like a toddler
October 5, 2008 - Don’t miss this
September 21, 2008 - Foolish schemes
September 7, 2008 - God’s hand is everywhere
August 24, 2008 - The dance
August 10, 2008 - Strange land
July 27, 2008 - God’s amazing grace
July 13, 2008 - A best seller
June 29, 2008 - My grandfather’s clock and worship
June 1, 2008 - Reclaiming the name
May 4, 2008 - God is not our fairy godmother
April 6, 2008 - Success: what is it and who can measure up?
March 9, 2008 - Need to know
February 10, 2008 - The top three myths of singleness
January 13, 2008 - By invitation only
December 5, 2007 - Yes, Abbie, there is a Jesus
November 18, 2007 - 10 Ways to be a good Christmas customer
October 21, 2007 - The dividing line
September 23, 2007 - What do you fear?
September 9, 2007 - A life well lived
August 26, 2007 - To murmur, or not to murmur
July 29, 2007 - The cross and the Christian
July 15, 2007 - Turning the other cheek: still a valuable biblical principle
July 1, 2007 - Why the tie?
June 3, 2007 - The death of a son
May 6, 2007 - A prayer for the dying
April 8, 2007 - The omnipresent God
March 11, 2007 - Do the Amish have superheroes?
February 11, 2007 - What’s your black history?
January 14, 2007 - The split branch
December 31, 2006 - The house of regret
December 10, 2006 - The redemption of the innkeeper
November 26, 2006 - Too many choices
November 12, 2006 - Break the bashing habit: Learning to love the unsaved like Christ does: November 12, 2006
October 15, 2006 - Be ‘salt and light’ this Christmas!: October 15, 2006
September 17, 2006 - Who is a legalist?: September 17, 2006 Issue 38
July 23, 2006 - God speaks through our brokenness: July 23, 2006 Issue 38
June 25, 2006 - 'What I am looking for in my church leaders'