After the death of my mother in August 2008, I became guardian for her 82-year-old brother Elwyn, who suffers from severe retardation and has lived in mental institutions and group homes since 1944. I had never met Elwyn; my only notion of what he might look like came from photographs taken when he was a teenager.

Until I had a conversation with my mother’s other brother, I puzzled over the fact that they had visited Elwyn only once in 60 years. My uncle said that when his parents first placed Elwyn in a state hospital, the staff discouraged his family from visiting. He wouldn’t be aware of their presence, they said, ironically adding that a visit might agitate him.

Fortunately, mental health care has come a long way since then.

The Probate Court required my sister (who agreed to be Elwyn’s back-up guardian) and me to attend a hearing to transfer his guardianship. When we entered the courtroom for the hearing, Elwyn, neatly dressed, was already there with the administrator of the group home where he lives. We introduced ourselves and sat behind them. Elwyn kept glancing back toward us, so I moved up, sat next to him for a while, and made small talk. I wasn’t surprised that he said nothing; my mother had old me he never learned to speak. (The administrator, however, said Elwyn occasionally says “Eat” or “Go to bed” when things don’t happen as quickly as he would like.) I sensed that he was more aware than I had been led to believe.

After the hearing, Elwyn, who bears a striking resemblance to his father—my grandfather—donned a newsboy cap just like the one Grandpa always wore. We followed the group home van to the house where Elwyn lives with several other adults with disabilities. As the administrator escorted Elwyn inside, Elwyn looked back at us as we followed.

“He knows you have some connection with him,” the administrator said.

The home is a bright, airy house in a nice neighborhood and the administrator encourages visits. The staff takes Elwyn on trips to such places as Mackinac Island (he loves the island’s famous fudge) and Frankenmuth (known for its chicken dinners and the world’s largest Christmas store).

During a brief tour of the home, we learned that Elwyn has a favorite couch and a favorite spot on the couch, from where he likes to watch Lawrence Welk reruns on television. I asked if I could give Elwyn a white Teddy bear that had belonged to my mother.

“Of course,” the administrator said, noting that Elwyn already had a larger white Teddy bear that was his constant companion.

I held Mom’s Teddy out to Elwyn and he grabbed it, placing it next to him. He moved the other bear to the opposite end of the couch.

What Elwyn understood from that day I’ll probably never know. But I know what it meant to me. It reinforced my belief that every person is valuable to God and should be to us. Jesus said, “Whenever you did it for any of my people, no matter how unimportant they seemed, you did it for me” (Matthew 25:40, Contemporary English Version). Caring for the disabled is one of the most important ways to show our love for God. |L

OTHER COLUMNS:
November 15, 2009 - Bringing Christ to French Guiana
November 1, 2009 - Walking the edge
October 18, 2009 - Watch what you say
October 4, 2009 - Proposing a new proverb
September 20, 2009 - Fear and trembling
August 23, 2009 - Where did the Bible go?
August 9, 2009 - The public school: a local mission field
July 26, 2009 - Astonishing the judges
July 12, 2009 - Letting the past go
June 28, 2009 - Line up
June 14, 2009 - The path to spiritual growth
May 31, 2009 - A tribute to one of my heroes
May 17, 2009 - Silent soldier
April 19, 2009 - Operation Resensitization
April 5, 2009 - The temptations of ministers
March 8, 2009 - Conversation over shoes
February 22, 2009 - By their plurals you shall know them
February 8, 2009 - What is missing from your retirement plans?
January 25, 2009 - Turn the page
December 28, 2008 - Abba, Father
December 14, 2008 - Elementary truths
November 30, 2008 - The illusion
October 19, 2008 - Acting like a toddler
October 5, 2008 - Don’t miss this
September 21, 2008 - Foolish schemes
September 7, 2008 - God’s hand is everywhere
August 24, 2008 - The dance
August 10, 2008 - Strange land
July 27, 2008 - God’s amazing grace
July 13, 2008 - A best seller
June 29, 2008 - My grandfather’s clock and worship
June 1, 2008 - Reclaiming the name
May 4, 2008 - God is not our fairy godmother
April 6, 2008 - Success: what is it and who can measure up?
March 9, 2008 - Need to know
February 10, 2008 - The top three myths of singleness
January 13, 2008 - By invitation only
December 5, 2007 - Yes, Abbie, there is a Jesus
November 18, 2007 - 10 Ways to be a good Christmas customer
October 21, 2007 - The dividing line
September 23, 2007 - What do you fear?
September 9, 2007 - A life well lived
August 26, 2007 - To murmur, or not to murmur
July 29, 2007 - The cross and the Christian
July 15, 2007 - Turning the other cheek: still a valuable biblical principle
July 1, 2007 - Why the tie?
June 3, 2007 - The death of a son
May 6, 2007 - A prayer for the dying
April 8, 2007 - The omnipresent God
March 11, 2007 - Do the Amish have superheroes?
February 11, 2007 - What’s your black history?
January 14, 2007 - The split branch
December 31, 2006 - The house of regret
December 10, 2006 - The redemption of the innkeeper
November 26, 2006 - Too many choices
November 12, 2006 - Break the bashing habit: Learning to love the unsaved like Christ does: November 12, 2006
October 15, 2006 - Be ‘salt and light’ this Christmas!: October 15, 2006
September 17, 2006 - Who is a legalist?: September 17, 2006 Issue 38
July 23, 2006 - God speaks through our brokenness: July 23, 2006 Issue 38
June 25, 2006 - 'What I am looking for in my church leaders'