Often I hear believers complain about the unsaved. I admit I’ve been guilty of this practice.

The conversation may start out like this: “Aren’t those _________ awful?’ Or “Isn’t __________ disgusting?” The blank may contain words and phrases filled with the latest hated group such as homosexuals, abortion rights advocates, rappers, or individuals like Howard Stern, Michael Moore, or Ellen Degeneres. Others may contribute additional negative statements about these groups or individuals.

Here’s what I have learned about loving non-Christians the way God loves me.

Consider non-Christians better than yourself.

Jesus did—enough so that he died for them (see Philippians 2:3). One day I was doing street witnessing in a poor ethnic neighborhood. Our group talked to people in the street who were high on drugs. How can I see these people as better than I am? I wondered. It seemed as if God were saying to me, “They sin in the open. You sin in secret.”

Be transparent about your struggles.

I am a member of a secular writing group. I confess at times I’ve determined I was better than these people who use obscene language in their writing, present stories that border on pornography, or write pieces that seem to celebrate what the Word calls evil.

Instead of pretending I’ve conquered sin, which I’ve done in other circles, I’ve opened up the messy areas of my life to them. Rather than turn against me, they’ve embraced me. One member of the group said, “It’s self-righteous Christians I despise. Your struggles invite me in.”

I’m learning to let go of my “I’m better than you” attitude. Instead I try to speak in ways that communicate, “I struggle in the same ways you do, and I have a wonderful God who helps me through those struggles.” I’m honored when those I formally bashed say, “Tell me more.”

Move closer to non-Christians.

Besides joining secular groups and leaving my work in Christian settings to get a job in a hospital, God also “invited” me to visit a “gay” church. Instead of being filled with disgust, my heart ached with compassion for the people there. I prayed for them as I sat and mourned the enemy’s deceptive power over them. I’ve learned not to shut down around or shut out those struggling with gender identity issues.

When you truly love the unsaved and move closer to them, some bashers may say to you what they said to Jesus: “Why are you hanging out with sinners?” (See Matthew 9:10-13.) When they do, celebrate that you are moving closer to being like Christ.

Remember you were a non-Christian once.

Sometimes I forgot how messed up I was before I knew Christ. How can I bash a homosexual? I had premarital sex. How can I bash a cocaine addict or drug pusher? I was a heavy drinker and cigarette smoker in my teens and twenties and encouraged others to indulge with me. How can I bash rappers? I read garbage books and talked trash and swore like a sailor. I like what one evangelist on the radio said: “Even though I didn’t do any of those things because I was saved young, God still saved me from them.”

Recognize your true enemy.

God’s longs to reach the unsaved. His heart must break when we are so unkind. Have we forgotten that it is his kindness (flowing through us) that brings people to repentance? (See Romans 2:4.)

Even if we see the unsaved as enemies, what does God call us to do to our enemies? Love them and pray for them. (See Matthew 5:44.)

We might make the excuse, “But I don’t say such harsh and negative things in the presence of non-Christians.” How do we know? A woman who has had an abortion may be sitting next to you in a Bible study. Or maybe a fellow Christian was thinking of inviting her unsaved homosexual friend to church, but with all the bashing going on, she decided it wasn’t safe.

Let’s think twice about what comes out of our mouths and resist the temptation to criticize non-Christians. Instead of bashing, let’s be so loving that they will feel they are basking in the love of Christ every time they’re with us. |L

Elaine Creasman is a freelance writer in Largo, Florida.

OUTLOOK is a forum for responsible Christian writers. The views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Standard Publishing or The Lookout.

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