Have you noticed that your children are growing up too fast? I have. It seems like one day they are born, the next week they’re teenagers. But I’m not just talking about children growing up too quickly physically. They grow up quickly mentally as well. I have a niece and nephew who are way too informed about their divorced parents’ battles. The parents are always taking each other to court for one thing after another. Those two children know more about the legal system than I’ll never know—and they are only eight and 10 years old.

Sadly, they aren’t the only children who have been forced to grow up too quickly. It isn’t hard to see how our society has pushed young children in this direction. Often children are given wrong choices and parents don’t help them make the right decisions. Those decisions are left up to children who want only what they see regardless of the consequences.

Girls as young as six and seven are dressing inappropriately because that is the type of clothes parents allow their daughters to choose. These same girls are wearing makeup. At times society pushes our children right into teenage parenthood, dropping out of school and entering marriage unprepared. Children should not have to make the decisions of an adult. It often makes me wonder what parents are teaching their kids and what kind of messages we are sending.

Will they make the right choices?

A young mother contacted me about babysitting her three year old. The child was in an environment where she was learning things that were ungodly. The mom was so upset about the situation that she cried while on the phone. She told me, “We talk to Skylar like an adult and want her to make her own decisions and hope that she chooses the right ones.” I don’t believe a three year old should have many more choices than whether to wear the red or blue outfit.

Young children don’t see what adults do and are incapable of making good choices all the time. Skylar was comfortable where she was and didn’t like change. Parents can see that sometimes change is necessary.

My husband and I had a seven year old in our class at church who had a cell phone. When my husband questioned the child about his phone, the boy responded, “So my mom can keep track of me.” That shocked me. When I was seven my mom knew exactly where I was because she took me there! This mother was pushing her son to have responsibilities beyond a seven year old’s mentality by allowing him to have unlimited choices of destination with only a cell phone to keep in touch.

Parents can help their kids remain kids a little longer. We don’t have to buy them all the latest electronic gadgets they want. We can buy them age appropriate toys.

My husband and I tease our kids that they can have a TV in their bedrooms when they get married. I know children who have TVs, VCRs or DVD players and cable available. This allows children to watch whatever they want. With the choices on TV today, it’s too much to leave to their discretion.

Should we make them wait?

We can set an age for different privileges for our kids so that they are able to look forward to getting something. For example, on our children’s 10th birthdays they look forward to getting their first pocketknife. My girls have looked forward to turning 13 so they can get their ears pierced, wear make up, and get a phone in their bedrooms.

Set boundaries. Remember, it won’t hurt for you to act like a kid once in a while. Get down on your hands and knees and wrestle with them. Run around the house chasing the dog. Do something to let them know that being a kid is fun.

As a parent, enjoy their childhood because children are truly a blessing from the Lord. Let them be children as long as possible. Even if you don’t have children of your own, you can be a voice they can listen to. Offer to mentor a child who may not have a strong family life. Help her to be a child. Allow her to make decisions as she grows and matures.

God gave us our children to raise. How are we doing? |L

Ruth O’Neil is a freelance writer in Lynchburg, Virginia.

OUTLOOK is a forum for responsible Christian writers. The views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Standard Publishing or The Lookout.

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