Like many Christian mothers today, I have listened repeatedly to debates concerning the best way to teach children to respond to bullying. On the playground, at fast food restaurant play lands, and even at church, children have to deal with bullies on a regular basis.

Some parents have chosen to adopt an aggressive approach to self-defense when it comes to warding off pint sized attackers. I heard a women gruffly state that she wanted her children to “get the bully before the bully gets them.” As the world seems to grow more and more dangerous and as people seem to grow less and less trustworthy, it is hard to know what to tell our children about protecting themselves. With all the options out there, the principle of turning the other cheek is one Christian parents should consider.

A Biblical Basis

In Matthew 5:38, 39 Jesus says, “You have heard that it was said ‘Eye for eye and tooth for tooth’ But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also.” In addition to this clear principle we are reminded in Hebrews 13:8, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Our society may change, but Jesus Christ and his Word do not change.

Our children are to be a light to their peers and an example to their generation. If we teach our children to turn the other cheek and pray for their enemies, perhaps this “new” attitude will catch on. That’s what being a light is all about. In addition to helping the victim, the Christian response may help the bully to reevaluate his or her actions. As our culture has changed, so has the level of aggression in children. To make matters worse, many children today have access to an arsenal of weapons with which to intimidate their peers. It is as important as ever to make sure our children are exhibiting Christ-like character.

The Bible teaches us not to take vengeance on those who wrong us. In fact, we are instructed to pray for them and care for them in times of need. Proverbs 25:21, 22 says, “If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the lord will reward you.” My mother taught me to “kill ’em with kindness.” These could be life-changing coals for the offender. Think of the stories you have heard about how a person’s life was turned around because someone showed an undeserved kindness.

Additional Benefits

Often a bully will pick on a weaker child in order to gain confidence and respect the only way he or she knows. Perhaps the bully had been picked on and hurt before. This can be a valuable experience for a child when handled correctly. For example, if a child were instructed not to respond to a bully with the same type of behavior and instead but to try to talk it over and then to pray for the bully, the bullying child may see the loving nature in the child and let his or her guard down. Perhaps a new friendship will form as a result. In turn, the new bully-turned-friend would probably begin to follow the same behavior pattern. That could result in a positive ripple effect. Wouldn’t it be great to arm our children with such a precious asset?

Little is accomplished in the long term if the response to insult or injury is to return the favor. That only causes the situation to spin out of control, and there is generally no positive outcome.

Let’s train up our children in the way they should go, keeping the end product in mind at all times. What do we want our children to gain from such situations—hurt feelings (or bruises) with nothing learned, or a lesson about life and Christian character topped with the knowledge that they did the right thing, even though it may have hurt? |L

Lacy Langley is a freelance writer in Amarillo, Texas.

OUTLOOK is a forum for responsible Christian writers. The views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Standard Publishing or The Lookout.

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